How To Pay Your Bills

Ok so now we have talked about saving some money, so now we can talk about ways to pay bills.  Everybody has bills to pay, the ability to pay them is what what causes the issue.  When you have very little to work with it can become very difficult.

I get paid biweekly.  I make roughly $175 a week after all my deductions.  This is definitely not a lot and then paying bills makes it even more challenging but it can be done with a little skill.  First make phone calls.  Some times if you call you can get companies to adjust your payments.  You can get it switched to a different day if you have too many due at the same time.  You can ask for a cheaper plan on cable or phone. Sometimes you can get a better interest rate on a credit card.  Even if they say no you still have to call to find out.  If you don't call you don't know.

next you have to know your minimum payments and your due dates.  Most of your payments are going to stay the same every month.  This is the payment and due date. Once you know what these are you need to start getting your mind wrapped around when and how much you will pay each pay date.  Not on the due date but on the pay day that falls before it is due.  For example you have a bill that is due the 20th but you get paid on the 10th or the 24th.  Well anything that is due after the 10th is getting paid on the 10th.  If you have anything that is due after the 24th then those bills will come out of your second check.  There may be some weeks that you have less money but making sure your bills are paid is what is important.

Eventually if you are paying off a credit card or something like that it will be paid off.  Then you can use that money to pay off the next thing.  There is debate over whether you should pay off the smallest balance first or the highest interest rate item.  I personally feel that it is better to pay off the smallest balance item first.  This way you will get something paid off quicker and that money can go toward the next item.  The faster you can pay stuff off the sooner you will have more money.

When I pay something off I like to use the 50/50 rule for the money that would have went to that payment.  I put half of that payment toward the next bill to be paid off and the other half in my checking or saving.  The reason for this is it makes you feel better and more comfortable about moving forward.  You want to feel like you are freeing up your money so if you give yourself some then it is extra money each pay period so you feel  like you are succeeding.  If you can put more toward paying off the bill that is great but you don't want to feel like you are never going to get any where either.

So here are some small tips for paying bills.  If you have more questions or suggestions please share.  Lets get saving.

Dealing With Loss

So we are going to switch gears for a minute.  So on Tuesday I had to put my dog to sleep.  It was very hard.  I cried like a baby.  My daughter was with me and cried too.  It was a very emotional day and the things that bothered me the most were not the ones I thought would get to me.

We knew this was what was best for him.  He was old and tired and he was having trouble just being here.  I made the appointment for a week later so we would have just a bit longer to love him and spoil him.  We got him some special items just for him and he slept with us every night until it was the day.  We did everything we could to make sure that his final days were great.  Then it was time

We sat with him for a bit then they gave him the shot.  Then we sat some more.  We cried and just loved on him for a little bit.  Then we decided it was time to let them take him.  Then our friends took us to dinner and we were doing okay.  We knew in our hearts we had done the right thing.  It was the next part that really hit hard and made us cry even harder.

We came home.  He was not there to greet us.  He wasn't laying on his pillow.  My daughter out of habit sat down on her couch and draped her hand over the edge like usual which was when Freckles would waddle over and get some lovins.  That is when it really got bad, he didn't waddle over.  He was never going to waddle over for lovins again.

That is what is hard about losing some one.  It isn't the letting go.  You know that people are lost every day.  It isn't the loss that hurts so much.  It is remembering.  It is a remembering all the wonderful things that used to be.  You realize those thing are officially over.  They are never going to happen again.  Now every time you see those things happening or do those things it reminds you of the person or animal and it hurts that they are not there to do those things again.

We will always remember and we will always love you.  Thank you for rescuing us.  RIP Freckles "The Fat Man" Hooper

No Card No Problem

So I explained to you how I have ditched my Debit Card and use cash now.  I do have a couple credit cards for emergency purposes.  I would just like to clarify that.  I love using cash for many reasons.  I can see it go.  I know exactly what is happening to it.  When it is gone it is gone so there is no over drafting my account on accident.  As stated in my article about how to save money we don't have it helps me build up my savings with out even noticing it is gone.

When you use your debit card you just swipe but you do not really have that connection of giving it away.  When you have to physically give it to some one it clicks a little different and when they hand a little less back than what you gave them, that is a connection.  If you are out shopping and only have a certain amount of cash on hand to spend you know you can not go over.  There is no picking up a few extras because you know you don't have it.

Another question is now how do I pay my bill?  Well there is the old fashioned method  Write a check and mail it to whom eve you need to pay.  This does require buying stamps and with a few companies envelopes.  If you have a Dollar Tree near you this  is a great place to save money on stuff like that.  Then there is the newer method.  It is electronic withdrawal which the company can set up over the phone or you can set up an account with the company and make a payment each month or  there is .online banking.  I still have a checking account for certain things so I use my online bill pay.  My money get directly deposited in my account on pay day and then I go into my bill payer and tell the bank when I want the money o be sent to the company I am paying.  It is super easy and convenient.  You can even make payments to people so if you need to pay back "Aunt Jackie" who you only see like maybe once a month you can put her in your bill pay and then she will get a check right from the bank.

You have many options to help deal with this new adventure.  It does take some time and a little effort but if you stick with it you will find that you will see progress that is actually getting you some where.  It didn't happen over night but slowly I have figured out what is working and I am getting there.  Next I think we will talk about how to tackle paying bills in general especially if you get paid less than weekly.  Thanks for reading and lets get saving.

Hi

So I stopped writing for a bit because it looked as if I was only writing to myself.  I have since seen that there have been a lot of page views.  Not sure if I am really helping or not but with more people reading it can't hurt to keep going.  I will be writing another piece shortly.  This one will be No Card Got Bills:  How do I pay them now?

I will be discussing exactly how to pay and manage your bills even with out having your debit card to take care of it.  I know it will be tricky at first as most of us rely on our card.  I still have not reordered one and it has been at least 6 months now with out it.  I am actually enjoying it.

How Do We Save Money We Don't Have

So there are articles everywhere on how to save money.  They explain how to save a bunch and get your debt paid off.  The problem you ask?  Well they always use big number like saving hundreds or thousands at once.  Sometimes it is even you should save 50% of your income.  Well if you are like me you don't have that kind of money.  If you put that much in savings your bills would never get paid off.  So what is the solution?

Well I have tried a lot of things.  One thing that was useful was the envelope system.  This is where you take out the exact amount of money you will spend from your pay check and label an envelope for each thing you would spend money on.  For example your car loan, groceries, eating out if you intend on doing that.  You only take cash out of the envelope that you intend on using it for.  Once the envelope is empty you have no more money for that particular activity until you get paid again.  In theory it really does work, if you can stick with it.  I was able to for  little while but then I found myself sneaking a dollar from this envelope to go to the other envelope and then I gave up.  If you can do it then by all means go for it.  Just wasn't my thing.

What did work you ask?  Saving the money I already had.  Didn't I just say I had none to save?  Well that is the trick.  First you get a jar and a savings account.  Preferably find a saving that you will earn decent interest from.  Then comes the easy part.  Say you have a $20 and you spend say $13.75,   You now have 6.25 in change.  Take the $1.25 and put it in the jar.  Every time you get coin or dollar bill you put it in the jar.  You are less likely to miss small change than you are trying to put away a $10 each time.  Then when your jar is full you take it and put it in your savings.  Then the best part it is so easy.  You leave it there.  For me it is a little easier because I work at a bank so I can deposit mine as soon as I get them.

The beauty of this is that you don't really notice your money going because it is such a small amount at a time.  I mean will you really notice that $.20 cents is not in your pocket.  Most likely not.  It is actually nice to not carry around loads of change.  It adds up quicker than you think.  Before you know it you will have saved $100 easy.  Now you have options once it builds up.  My advice?  Leave it alone as long as you can.  Although if you have saved $100 and have a bill that needs to be paid off then do it.  The nice thing is what you can do with that extra money.  This will be the topic of my next post.

Remember if you have ideas please share.  We are in this together.  You may have a suggestion that I have not even thought of.  Thank you for reading and see you next time.

Where Is Everyone??????

So I am writing these posts hoping I am helping some one out there.  I would really like to hear any feed back you have.  If you want me to change anything or add something.  I really hope that something I have said is useful to any one out there.  I have more helpful tips to share but I want to make sure that people are actually seeing them.

If you have questions or even some input of your own I would love to hear from you.  I would love the interaction from you guys.  I am doing this to help you so what ever you want to add please feel free.  Just like in school, no question is too small.  You may have the same question as some else and if we share we can all help each other and make our lives a little better.

Just Checking In

So I have given you a lot of advice in my last few posts.  I am just wondering if any one has started using them or has any success to share. Have you tried a budget yet?  How does your family feel about cutting back?  What have you decided to save for?  I would like to hear your thoughts on things.  Do you think these are good or bad ideas?

These are things that have helped me.  I kept looking for help myself but all the articles seemed to be geared toward people with a lot more money so I decided I would share what I have learned and used as a person that has very little wiggle room for saving and spending.  I only work part time and have a daughter to support so a big budget is not something I am accustomed to.  I wanted to help other people so I hope I am getting out to at least even one person to make a difference.

Ditch The Debit Card!!!!!!

Ok, so I know what you are thinking,  This lady is crazy!  You can not possibly  make it through the day without your little plastic friend.  It would bring an end to your world if you didn't have that little rectangle available at all times.  If you could not simply swipe the card through the reader then what would you possibly do?  It is ok I have a plan and a reason.

So true a debit card is convenient.  Yes it is way more simple than carry around cash. The thing is that problems can also arise out of a debit card that can really wreck your road to recovery.  Debit cards are so easy to use that a person can get carried away just swiping all the time.  One little mistake and you could be cleaning up the mess for an extra month or more.  Who wants to deal with all of that when you are already trying to get your budget together.

 1.  You go on a day of errands and have to hit 5 stores that day. You do good on the first couple of stops making sure you put your receipt away but by the 4th store you are tired and just want to be done and forget to get it.  While this seems easy enough, what if it is for gas and it only shows up as 0.00 because it is still pending and you wait 2 days to fill in your check book.  You forget how much you spent and guess you are $3.00 off on your guess now your book is wrong and you go about your spending.  Then BAM!!!! Over draft charge.  You may even forget to write it in all together in the first place and there it is a fee just because you forgot one transaction.  Now you are negative and either have to keep using the card and make it worse, use your credit card which will now incur interest or dip into your savings.  All of which defeat the whole purpose of what you are working for.

2.  You buy a trial of something because you can put it on your card and it seems cheap.  Then you forget to cancel it and now you are paying $80 for a trial item because they have your card number and can automatically bill you.  Once again you are hit with fees and looking to pay for everything you just did again defeating the purpose.

3.  As we have found time and time again they are not super secure either and when you are trying to save money because you don't have any, you can't afford an act of fraud.  Depending on the situation it could take 30 days before you get your money back.  My guess is if you are reading this then you can not afford to wait 30 days to get your money back

Now lets get to what you should do.  CASH!  That is right plane old paper bills and coins.  This is the perfect way to stay on track.  I am not saying no electronic use.  You can pay your bills online to save driving every where and wasting gas which of course costs money.  You keep track of how much you have after bills by doing that in a check log.  What is left after you get paid and deduct your bills is the cash you have to spend until your next payday.  THAT IS IT.

You only get what your check log says you have.  You then take out the cash and that is what you use.  This is also helpful because it is more visual too.  You are physically giving away your hard earned money which can be harder the less you have.  When you actually have to hand over a $5 for that one cup of coffee it starts to sink in that you are giving away a lot of money for one little thing.  You go out to eat and you have to use a $20 and only get a $5 back it really does hit a nerve and you will start watching what you are doing more.  When you only have $20 left and payday is still 4 days away you will be much more careful.

How do I know this?  I have been doing it now for 5 months.  I don't even have an ATM card now.  There are times where things have come up and unfortunately I have had to use a card or my savings and that is also life.  The important thing is that because I have been working to change my situation I actually had money on my card or cash in the savings.  I made sure to keep myself accountable.

It isn't always easy and I know every situation is unique.  I am not going to tell you to save $50 every check because I couldn't do it and still have money.  I am giving you tips to help you get the start you need and you can customize it to fit you.  I work at a bank so I can get the money out when needed but you may still need an ATM card just in case, that is what will work for you.  Until next time.  Keep up the good work.  I would love to hear if any one has been using my steps and how it is working for them.

Lets Do A Recap

   Ok so now that I am back online we are going to recap my original posts to make sure we are either still on track or get back on track.  No matter where you are the important thing is that you keep working. I have had times where I have either pulled from my savings or just stopped doing what I needed to do to keep it going.  What matters is that you get back to what you were doing.  The important thing is to get out of debt and be free of the trouble it brings.

  So first you have to have a goal.  A real reason that this is so important to you.  Whether it be to buy something, have a big nest egg, or you are just tired of struggling.  You have to have a real reason or it will not be as important to you and you will not try as hard.  Everyone needs to be on board with this if you have others in your household.  If you are single then you are going to have to work hard to keep yourself committed to the final goal.  This is not going to be easy but when you are able to achieve your goal because you worked so hard it will be totally worth it.

   Now that you have decided why, you have to do.  Set up a plan.  Pick a credit card you want to tackle first or maybe it is your car loan that you want to eliminate.  What ever it is that is going to be your main priority until it is paid.  Even if in the beginning you only round the payment up to the next dollar.  Say your payment is $50.51 then you pay $52.00.  Even if you did only that for a year you would pay an extra $5.88. This is $5.88 less you will be charged interest on.  If you get a raise then you need to decide what extra you can put toward that bill.  You will do all that you can to pay off that extra bill.

    Next this part is something you will have to decide on your own.  Some people swear by it, I myself have never been able to follow one.  I am talking about a budget.  Some people really like them and use them religiously.  It is a blue print of how you will spend your money each month.  It only works if you actually do it every month and stick to it.  That is my down fall,  I really have a hard time redoing every month.  If you are the type of person who needs structure this may be the right choice for you.  If you think you can handle it month after month and stick with your plan then you may not need one.  This part is totally a personal choice.  You can always try it and if it is not for you then do it your way.  As I have said before the most important thing is that you do it.

That is all for the recap.  I hope you will come back so that we can finally do our next piece,  Ditch The Debit Card.  I will be talking about why I have learned it is better to go all cash while trying to eliminate debt. I hope to see you back soon.  As Always feel free to share your thoughts and ideas.  We are all in this together.

Great News

Thanks to the wonderful people at Rent-A-Center I have a laptop again.  I will be picking up where we left off on my debt help series.  I am very excited to get back to this so that I can share how I am getting my life turned around and back on track.  I hope you come back and learn some steps that have helped me so much.  I will do a re-cap of what I talked about before and then we will get into Ditch the debit card.  I know it sounds crazy but i have been without one for 2 months now and doing great.  See you soon!!!!!!

Big Sorry

I wanted to check in.  I am still without a computer.  I gave it to a friend to look at and they still have not and now they are on vacation.  I am debating whether or not to just get a new one.  I am still going to pick up on the series as soon as I have a stable way of writing.  Thank  you to all that are supporting me and staying a faithful reader.

Technical Dificulties

So I was trying to do the series on money saving.  Unfortunately my computer is down.  I only have a tiny phone right now.  As soon as I figure out my computer I will be back to work.  Stay tuned up next is ditching the debit card.  I will talk about why I am doing cash only right now.   I hope to be back soon.

Computer Problems

De to computer issues I will not be posting tonight.  Please stay tuned. Next part is going to discuss Cash versus Debt Card

Saving Money and Getting Out of Debt: To Budget or Not To Budget

I would first like to thank all of you for reading this blog.  I am very excited to announce that I have 1000 views as of today. I hope that I am helping people.  I set out to just start  blog and see where it went.  It has become more than that, it is now a place where I am determined to have an impact on peoples life.  Thank you for reading and being with me.

So we are on the journey to financial freedom.  A lot of people feel that having a budget is he holy grail of saving.  They claim it will keep you on track each month, that it will hold you accountable for your spending.  This does work for some people. 

Me personally, I do not use one.  I always forget to update them and then they make no sense.  Also for me it is just a reminder of how broke I am all the time.  I just do not find them helpful.  I am not saying do not use one, I am just saying I do not like using them.  This is something you will have to decide on your own if it is gong to be helpful or not.

If you decide to use one, make sure it will work for you.  If you are not a complex number person then do not choose a complex way to budget.  Go with the basics.  There are free budget forms on the internet that make it easy to do.  Make sure you are honest with the numbers.  You will not fix the problem if you are not willing to be honest about it.  Make sure you have all the numbers and categories you need.  Then simply add up your bills and essentials then subtract them from your income.  This will be the extra money you will have to work with. 

At this point hopefully you have a positive number.  What ever it is this will be the money you will use to Save and get out of debt.  Even if it is only $1 I can help you work with this. It will be weird at first but you can do it.  I am in this with you I am doing it right now so I know what I am talking about.  I only work part time but I have paid off a credit cards and my car.  This is with just y pay  check and every now and then I get child support but not every month.  I also have an IRA and two college funds going for m daughter.  If I can do it so can you.  Please feel free to ask questions I am here to help.

Saving Money and Getting Out of Debt: Have an End Goal

So you have made the commitment to save money and get rid of your debt, now what.  Your next step is to have a final result for why you are going to make this commitment.  You have to decide why saving is important to you.  What is in it for you?

What is it you are saving for?  Do you want a new car, or maybe a house.  Maybe you have kids and want to be able to pay for their education.  Maybe you are just tired of giving your money away to fees every month.   What ever it is you have to know what your working for.

This is important because if you are not working toward a goal you are more likely to go off track.  You will use excuses about why you will do it later.  You just tell yourself you will do it later.  Or just give up because it is not worth it.  With no goal you have no purpose and that can lead to failure.

For me it is being able to provide better for my daughter.  I want to be able to be able to send my daughter to school without taking out a bunch of loans.  I want to be able to not worry about my future when I am older.  I want to know that I will always be able to take care of myself and not burden my daughter when I am older.

What ever you reason is use it as your motivation for this journey.  It will help you when you fell like giving in to extra spending.  It will be the center of your change.  Make it something good to, something that will really keep you going when you want to give in.  Believe me, there will be times when you will say all this is too much and I just want to give up and do what everyone else is doing.

I am happy to have you on this journey.  I hope you will continue to follow me and find your freedom. 

Do you drink powerade

If you drink powerade and live near a store called 5 and below.  They have them for $ .69 right now.  Go get your savings on.  Stocking up on items when they are cheap is a great way to start your money saving adventure.

Saving Money and Getting Out of Debt: The Beginning

So You want to save money and get out of debt?  This is actually the first step.  Admitting that you need to get out of debt is how you get going.  A lot of people don't like to admit there is a problem.  If you can not do that then you will not be able to go any farther.

You have to start by admitting that you got yourself into a bad spot and now you need to get out.  Many people spend their years spending and digging the whole and then when they retire they have no way to take care of themselves.  They end up creating debt and then when they are gone their family has to take care of the problem.  This is not the position you want to leave your children in.

You have to commit today, right this minute that even if you do not want to take the steps I have used that you will do something to improve your finances.  You have to get the whole family on board and make sure they know what you are working toward.  If you are saving and your spouse is still over spending it will get you nowhere.  Have a family meeting immediately and put down  your foot.  Make it known that the family needs to make some changes for a better future.  If you are single then you need to make this commitment to yourself and hold yourself  accountable.  Your future depends on you doing your part.

If you are ready to improve your finances then stick with me.  I am going to walk you through different ways that will help you get things under control.  It is not going to always be easy but you are going to be happy you did it in the end.

Follow up

So this week was supposed to start a series on saving money and slowly getting ahead.  Unfortunately I was not able to start this week due to some personal issues.  I will be starting the series on Monday.  I really hope to have you here so we can go through this journey together.  I really am excited to help you all succeed in your financial future.  Please come back Monday and bring your positive attitude because we are going to make some changes.  This will be the beginning of financial freedom.  I hope to see you here.

Get ready

Ok so I have been working on saving money and paying bills.  So far I have learned how coupon and got 2 laundry detergents for $.84 for both not each but both.  I paid off my car loan one of my credit cards and the loan I got for my phone.  If you want to learn how I did this and see if I can help you then come back starting Monday June 2nd where I will start posting what I have learned and done to start turning my life around.  We all need a boost so I am here to give one if you are ready to take it.

Spring Cleaning Not Really Happening

So it is that time of year where everyone starts deep cleaning their homes.  Getting rid of stuff that is no longer needed.  The organization plans are under way and the idea of the perfectly decorated home is in place.  It is a magic time of refreshing our space.

This is what we intend to do.  The reality of the situation is not so magical.  There is the hours of sorting, moving things around, and the cleaning of everything.  It seems like a never ending task that will consume are nice days.  Who wants to be inside cleaning now that the grass is green and you can go outside for more than 1minute with out being a popsicle.

So here is a nicer way to get it all done.  Each night clean for 10 minutes.  Set a timer for this 10 minutes.  Get going on your one space for that 10 minutes.  Say you want to do the kitchen counter.  For 10 minutes you concentrate on only that one thing.  When the timer goes off it is over.  You are done with it for that day.  It makes it seem less overwhelming than just setting out to clean a whole house with no real end in sight.

You can adjust the time or times per day but the idea is to make it less over whelming.  Have the kids help too.  If they have a playroom have them sort old toys from the ones they want to keep.  This way the toys won't get out of hand and you won't feel like you are going crazy by not getting it done.  Older kids can do other jobs like the bathroom, or laundry area.  Have them do the same thing in their room.  While you work on a room in the house they can be doing their room too.

Older kids can be a big help.  They can do their own clothes for example.  So for 10 minutes they go through their closet and decide what they no longer want or what they have grown out of.  They can vacuum and dust so once the rest of their room has been organized they can do that as well.  It will help them learn the rewards of cleaning but not get overwhelmed with the whole thing.

The whole idea here is to get the house clean and organized with out everyone freaking out or getting so overwhelmed that nothing really gets done.  If we get too stressed we will never finish it because we look at it as more of a punishment.  Small step make it rewarding.  Once you get one done it will make you feel good about the accomplishment and be ready to do more

This Evening Was an Event That Can bring Some Stress

So tonight was conferences.  It is a time that can either be exciting or miserable.  Kids worry about grades and what their parents will say if they get a back grade.  Parents worry how their child is doing and if teachers are secretly judging them for these bad grades.

For us it is a combination of both.  My daughter can do really well in school.  The issue is on top of her ADHD she also has seizure disorder.  This leads to a lot of missed days of school.  This then leads to built up assignments and then it is hard to catch up and take the quizzes and tests.  I know this is hard on my daughter and it is hard for me as a parent.  I know she needs to get good grades and be in school but the seizures take a lot out of her.  She once slept for 15 hours after a seizure.

She is doing good in some classes and not so good in others.  I know she can do well but I also know how hard she struggles.  It is like a roller coaster.  She has excelled in classes that she has always struggled in and is doing not so well in classes she has always done well in.

I fear she will be held back which has already happened once when she was younger.  I don't want her to feel bad about herself but it is hard to punish a child who has a legitimate reason for being behind.  It is a real battle.  She gets frustrated and I get frustrated then you really get nowhere.

Do you have a child with medical issues that make school harder?  What do you do to help them with their struggle?  I would really like to hear from other parents on how they cope with these issues.

Good Morning

Good Morning.  How is your morning going?  This morning is going pretty well.  I woke up in a good mood and my daughter got up happy. 

This is not the normal in our home usually there are about 3 taps to the snooze.  Then we go through the whining about not wanting to get up.  Then there is the pretending to get up but not really moving.  Then finally we are out of bed and complaining about everything . My daughter has ADHD so she gets distracted easy.  Then we finally start really getting ready like 20 minutes before we have to leave. 

This is pretty much a daily thing but the last two days we have not done the snooze.  We got up in a good mood and got ready early.  It was nice.  I made sure that we were following schedule and remained calm all morning.  The not arguing about getting ready and waking up nicely has really seemed to help.  Guiding her rather than fighting has made a big difference.

So if you have a stubborn child try working with them instead of fighting them.  They may just surprise you and start working with you also.

Sorry For the absence Here is an update

So sorry I have not written in a long time.  So much has happened lately.  I am going to try to keep it short tonight but give you as much of the info as possible.

So on the weight loss.  That is going nowhere.  I have not been doing anything so I am still at the same weight as when I started my plan.  I know I will get there it is just going to take sometime to get there.

As for my marriage.  It officially ended on March 6th 2014.  It was not pretty that day and I was called a lot of names.  In the end I feel I did what was right for my daughter so I just have to move on and remember I can only do my best.

As for my job well I switched branches and I am doing good there. I have a lot to learn but they are very supportive so it makes it nicer.  I got a raise this year so I am happy about that.  I worked really hard to get it so I wish it was more but it is a start.

Things are a little crazy but I am really trying to stay positive and just move forward.  I am hoping by this time next year I will be much better off and closer to my goals.

That is all for tonight.  Have a great game.

Time To Find My Purpose

So it is going on two years since I came back from down south.  Two years since I found out my husband was cheating on me and wanted to end our marriage.  It has been a long all most two years and nothing has really changed.  I am still alone and broke.  I have so many ideas all the time but never act on any of them so that is not good.

I was not born to just get by.  No one is.  We all have a purpose here and we are destined to do great things really.  We all have that one thing we are meant to do, and we are meant to do it in a way no one else can.  The problem is life starts happening and we lose sight of these things.  We start to doubt our abilities in life.  It is tragic how many people go through life and never meet there potential.  Well no more.

Before I die I will find my purpose and I will be great at whatever it is that I was destined to do.  I need to start by getting my self organized.  You can not have a productive purposed life with clutter every where.  This will be hard at first.  I have gotten very disorganized over the years.  I guess it is due to the drama in my life.  You start to show signs outward when you are conflicted outside.

I need to get back into a routine.  I need to get my physical self back under control as well.  I lost weight and was very happy, then all hell broke loose and I have gained almost 10 pounds back.   It is more like I am just getting by in life waiting for things to happen.  It is time to start making things happen and do my best each and every day.

So first on the agenda is to get organized and get moving.  Having disorder and no movement at all is useless.  I can't get forward if I am not moving in the first place.

Different kind of Day

So this day started off on a not so awesome note.  My daughter needed blood drawn for her Dr's appointment so we went.  When we got there they said there was no order.  Mind you we set this appointment up in November and were told that we could go anytime.   We even got up at 550 AM so she would not miss school.  The lady found her last one in the computer and was able to draw based on that but because they didn't talk to the Dr's office in time the results were not ready for our appointment, which we still had to go to so he could send refills to the pharmacy.

The snow made it almost impossible to go anywhere so I canceled most of my other plans today.  I even tried to male my phone calls and that got me nowhere.  I was very frustrated by the time I brought my daughter home from school.  We almost got stuck on the road because of the snow.  I have not parked in my driveway for over a month due to not being able to shovel.  I have an injury and the plows packed way to much snow up for me to clear on my own.

After we left the office we came home and I saw my neighbor on his 4 wheeler with a plow.  I was pointing it out to my daughter telling her we needed one too.  As we parked I noticed the guy coming down the road.  He ended up plowing most of my driveway so for the first time since the January storm I parked in my driveway.  I even backed in which I never do in hopes that I don't get stuck again.

Then I had a great idea!  Me and my daughter had movie night.  We watched two different versions of Gulliver's Travels.  We both decided that the one with Jack Black was way better.  It was very funny.  It did have a little language that surprised me because they are  watching at school.  Over all though it was great and we got to enjoy a nice evening together with no stress in the end.

Moral of today= just because the day does not start out so awesome does not mean it can not end awesome.

So Many Decisions But Not Enough Time

So I have a lot of things I need to make decisions on right now and the deadlines are quickly approaching.  I have no idea what I want to do about them either.  I have been praying over each of them but still I am not sure what the best decision for each situation is. 

They are all very important decisions that will impact my future so I do not want to make the wrong choice for any of them.  If I make the wrong decision it impacts other things and I really don't want to mess those things up.

I have to decide whether or not to keep my house or just let it go.  I would love to keep it and rent it out again it was something I bought on my own and I am very proud of that but at the same time I do not want it to eat all my money.  I am working on paying off bills and saving up some money and this could affect that.  I am not sure that I can keep the house and be able to save money at the same time.  I really want to get back on my feet and stop having to ask for help all the time.  On the other hand I don't want to give up my home either.  It is a really hard choice to make at this point.

I also have to make the decision of if I really want to switch branches.  After today I am back to wanting to leave the branch I am at.  I already have the new position but I can change my mind at any time before I actually start there.  I struggled over the weekend about what to do and have continued to pray.  Somethings that happened that might seem petty to some really made me feel like leaving is the right thing.  Then I wait on some of the customers and realize I like them and I would love to stay and continue to work for them.  It is really hard to make these choices.

Then there is whether or not I should get a lawyer to help me finalize my divorce.  I have done most of it myself so this is to just get it done and help with the custody concerns.  I am having a lot of problems with my about to be ex doing what he should be as a parent but I do what I am supposed to and it is ridiculous that he can just lie and do what ever he wants and my daughter continues to suffer because his selfishness.  I am very much over the situation but at the same time it will be very costly to pay for this lawyer which goes back to the trying to save money part.

It is a lot to figure out and basically I have to decide by the end of this week so that puts even more pressure on me since it is half way over.  I need to figure it out quick though or all the decisions will be made for me and I will just have to live with whatever happens.

Having Second Thoughts

So after a year and a half of being miserable at my job and the straw that broke the camels back falling down I decided it was time to go to a different building even if it meant going at the same pay rate and all.  I just wanted out.  I finally had a nervous break down at work, fifteen minutes later I found myself applying for a position at another location that was exactly the same as mine just not where I was.

I got an interview with them and I was still leery at the time about making the move but still kept going with it.  Everyone said it would be great for me.  Less stress and closer to home.   The schedule means no Saturdays unless I want to so it sounded perfect for me.  Then I got the call from HR and I was offered the job.  I was soooo exited because I had finally gotten out.

Then my friend from my branch called and said it looked like my managers feelings were crushed when she got the news.  This however is the same manager who has been so mean and finally caused the break down.  How could it be that she even cared if I left or not.  She was always making comments that made me feel not good enough.  She acted like I was the worst employee there.  It was insane how many mean things she said and did to me.  Even my other coworkers started making comments to me about how they were beginning to see how she treated me.

So why is it now that I accepted the position I am feeling guilty.  Why do I have such a huge regret over this situation.  I really didn't want to leave my branch I like it there because of the people I have met and things like that.  I would love to stay but things will never change for me there.  I will always be the punching bag for them.  I even cried about it yesterday because I am worried I made the wrong choice.  I mean had it not been for that Friday break down I would never have even applied for it, but at that moment I knew I had to get out as well.

No I am transferring and there is no looking back.  I can only hope that I am happier in my new surroundings and that I made the right decision.  Everyone says I did but I certainly do not feel like ti right now.   I guess only time will tell in this situation and I will have to make the best of it.

Oh Soo Tired

I am so tired right now.  I can not sleep lately.  I went to bed at 3 and was still up by 8am.  Not sure what is going on.  I did however get some stuff done today.  Cleaned up got some laundry done and fixed a very bad extension  cord problem.

I love cooking in a crock pot as a easy way to cook.  Today I learned that I am not a fan of making crock pot fettuccine.  I used a jar of sauce so I thought it should taste pretty good.  It was pretty bland.  We ended up having frozen pizzas.  We gave the noodles to the dogs.  They seemed to like it.  I also think the crock pot is weird.  I have to cook only on low then switch to warm only after a bit or it starts to burn everything like it is overheating.  It is good enough though until I find my good one or go get another one.  I really like the ease of slow cooking and the variety of things that can be cooked.  Do you have a slow cooker recipe that you love to make?  Where did you learn to make it?

My daughter is back from her Dads weekend so I am super happy now.  I really miss her when she is gone.  Plus I miss tons when she is gone.  She is getting so big and before I know it she will be off to college and I will only see her on weekends or whenever she decides to come visit.  I am doing my best to spend time with her under these new circumstances so I don't feel like I missed anything.  I want to know that I made an impact on her life over the years.  I am determined that she will only have good memories to look back on even though her Dad and I didn't end up together forever I want her to go forward happy and healthy and loved.

Quick Hello

So I have been gone for a minute and I apologize for that.  Things have still been a bit crazy around here.  The car is fixed and my Mom had her pacemaker replaced.  My daughter is doing ok but I have not been feeling too awesome and not sure why.  Not much else is happening and I am not really sure what you want me to talk about lately so I took a minute off.  If you have something specific let me know.  I am hoping to be back regularly soon

Busy Times in the Castle

So here we are only about 3 weeks into January and the fun is already starting.  I should start taking random courses in repair of all kinds.  I keep having things break and stuff is wearing out so fast me and my finances cant keep up. The power was out for about 2 hours and I spent all day at a car repair shop but my car is still not fixed. Plus having my Mom go to the hospital didn't make things any better.

So my had something happen and ended up in the ICU which was very scary.  She is home now but I do not know exactly how she is doing.  They keep changing her medications but that only helps for a bit so that was weighing on me a lot. 

We had a really bad snow storm so I missed 2 days of work.  Then after I was able to get there the power steering that I just had fixed stopped working again.  I will not be able to get it fixed for about 3 more days.  After shoveling from the storm for 3 days, it makes it very hard to steer with out power steering.  My fingers keep going numb even when I am not doing anything.

Of course with all the things I am trying to do around the house there is not a lot of time spent doing nothing.  Due to the weather and the fact that my house is so old mice are coming in like crazy to find shelter.  With 4 dogs it is not very peaceful with them searching for every noise they hear.  I know this type of things happens this time of year in old houses but it is driving me crazy and my dogs are over it too.

Then my dryer died.  No clean towels and the thing just went down.  I currently have towels hanging in random places around my house so I can at least shower for work next week.  I took the other one apart but it is really old and I don't want to get hurt taking apart something I shouldn't.  My cousin said I could take hers but first I need to find some one to go get it with since my vehicle is going crazy.

I think maybe it is time to start taking some classes and then maybe I can repair this stuff myself.  I hate not being able to get things done when I want them done.  I do plan on getting some foam calk though and filling in as many spaces as I can in hopes that keeps the mouse problem to a minimum.  If you out there have any suggestions for these situations I am all ears.

An Update Post

So in this post I am just going to give some updates on some stuff that I have talked about before.  I feel that I should from time to time let you know how things are going with some of the things that I have posted in the past.  If ever you want to know how something is going though feel free to ask.  I will gladly tell you how things are going.

So as for the update on my exercise stuff.  Well I have not been being very diligent but I am trying to get better.  I have gotten food for work so I am less tempted to go out to eat for lunch.  I have been trying to stand more than sit at work and some times I just walk behind the line to get some extra activity.  I think I got a small catch up on working out though since I have been shoveling the driveway and pushing my car out of being stuck.

With that an update on our severe weather we had.  Well just as they got everything all cleaned up and people got power back we started getting snow.  Now everyone is snowed in and missing work.  I started at 720 am and just got my truck unstuck at 1.  I have no idea if I will be able to get be able to get there tomorrow either so I am hoping that it will work out or I have to use PTO days to cover it.  The other problem is I am soooo sore and tired from all the work I have already done.  I don't know if I can shovel one more scoop.

Then there is the scoop on my divorce.  It is exactly 2 months from today.  I am kinda nervous I feel unprepared for some reason.  I just want to move on at this point and get going forward with mine and my daughters life.  Things are just to crazy with always having to always worry about what is going on with this stuff.  Once it is final then that is that.  My daughter still does not enjoy going over there but I am working on it either he will give her the attention she needs  or he will learn she is mad and give up on trying to force her.

Then we get to the other divorce info.  So Me and my first ex have test a few time since chatting but that is about it.  We haven't really talked about anything important in those texts though.  Just a few hope you are doing good, I am tired talk later, that type of stuff. I text him back briefly today but that is about it.  At least we had a good chat the other days and I got some stuff off my chest that I had never been able to talk to him about so that was nice.  I guess we will see if there is any future conversation.

Well I am going to go work on shoveling my car out some more and hope I can get to work tomorrow.  I hope you are safe and warm where you are at. Until next time.

When The Ex Comes Calling

So I found out my mom was in the hospital the other day but I was trying to stay calm because my dad said it wasn't to serious.  I went through my day the next day at work and just tried to keep my mind off the problem.  Then I saw a number on my phone and there was a voice mail so I checked I checked and was quite shocked at who it was.

It turned out to be my first ex-husband!  Now I really don't talk to him.  Our relationship went pretty much like this last one.  In the end he cheated but he is my daughters biological Father so he left me pregnant with not much to my name.  I have since gotten over the situation since I can't change it.  We have talked before so whatever.  Some how this voice mail seemed different though.  It just said call me at this number.  Well I thought about it and I did. 

When he answered he asked how I was.  I said fine then he said he had been itching so he knew he should call.  What he was talking about is that we got matching tattoos before our wedding but they are in Japanese so they just look like another tattoo.  After the divorce mine would occasionally itch an swell and with out fail every time it did he was up to something.  So I finally told him about it, so I guess he felt his acting up and decided to call.  Weird timing so I told him he was right and explained my mom.

We talked for 2 hours that night and I really let him have it for the things he put me through.  We talked about all kinds of different things.  We talked about my up coming divorce and I yelled a lot about things.  He told me things he had heard years ago and we just had it out and went through a lot of emotions.  At one point he mentioned me being mad at him and still hating him. Well I corrected him.

You see the truth is that I don't care any more.  I forgave him and stopped being mad about the marriage a long time ago.  I explained to him what I was mad about was his choices.  He choice to cheat, to leave, and to not be part of my daughters life.  That made me angry but it was also his problem.  He made those choices and what happened was neither here nor there.  I was long over the cheating and being left behind and my daughter doesn't even want to know his name so it is what it is but he made crappy choices.

We had a grudge match conversation.  We went at each other about all the faults that happened, who's fault it was that things ended, who cheated on who.  You name it we probably covered it.  I even started calling him names by the alphabet.  it was a very intense conversation.  In the end we said good night and talk later.

We talked another 2 hours yesterday.  It was kind of healing talking to him.  We never had a real closer to our marriage.  We lived in different states when the whole thing happened so it never really got resolved.  When he did move back it was more of a competition to prove who had moved on better.  Which I ultimately won that  one so that was satisfying.  We sat another 2 hours going through the same routine as the night before.  This time though I really let him have it.  Let him know what him acting like he did caused.

I wanted him to know.  He went through the routine of supposedly I cheated on him and whatever.  Finally I said your right.  Whoever you think I cheated with your right.  I did from now on who ever you mention that's who I will agree with.  I told him that now he can tell people I did it so he could feel justified about what he did.  Now he could blame me for every thing and the dismantling of our marriage.  This really got to him.  He didn't like it at all.  I simply took his ammunition from him.  That was good too.  It made him have to think about his actions for once.  After I finally just said your right it was my fault.  I gave up everything for you and did everything for you but in the end it was my fault that our family broke down.  I told him make sure he told people this too.  I no longer wanted people to think he had done me wrong.  Once he couldn't really make me mad about it, it kinda forced him to really look at the situation.  We talked a little longer then said goodnight. 

I text him tonight but he really can't talk to me.  I took away all the things he had over me to make me so angry these last 13 years.  The only thing he was left with was the cold truth and that hurt a little.  He always mentions that he knows he screwed up but he always says I had a big part in it and would never really let it go so when I finally said call me what you want and think what you want.  He no longer had control to make me angry of accusing me of random things.  I hope next time we talk that we can have and actual conversation with out dragging things out but who knows.  Only time will tell.  I just hope it doesn't take another 13 years for us to have a civil conversation

New Year New Day New Ideas

So it is 2014 and I am excited.  I have so many things to get done this year.  I have a million ideas to do my business.  A ton of new ideas for how to make products for my daughters business.  I am determined to make this a great year regardless of how 2013 went, it is over and fresh starts are possible. 

My divorce happens in March and while I am sad I am also relieved.  I no longer have to worry about it.  I can just focus on mine and my daughters futures and make our lives as awesome as possible.  What are you putting behind you this year? Are there reasons you are happy that 2013 is over? 

I know I am going to be really busy this year but it is all going to be good stuff.  I also plan on getting my daughter back into dance so I will have to get ready for all the practices and recitals and maybe competitions if she is still good enough for the dance team.  Then work on business stuff as much as possible.  I have also found a survey company that makes it easier to earn money.  I have only been doing it a couple days now and almost have enough points to cash in for $10.  You only need to earn 100 points for that and there surveys generally pay decent points for each one.  I am using another one that is taking a little longer but still better than when I tried it last time.  So at say $10 a month I could earn a minimum of an extra $120 this year so I can put that toward my $5000 goal or use that specifically for Christmas.  You can turn it in for other stuff that is decent but I am just more interested in the money.

Well I just wanted to drop in with a quick chat tonight.  I go back to work in the morning and I only have about 6.5 hours to sleep.  It is going to be a great year so lets get together and make it fun

No Turning Back

So it is officially 2014.  I just wanted to take a quick second to get in touch.  Make sure you stay positive this year.  Remember what you are working toward and why. Together we will make this our best year yet.  I hope you guys stay safe and I will be back later today to share some more witty banter about life and my day.  I hope you will join me and share with each other.