Another Year Ending

So here we are , another year over.  I am having mixed feeling really.  I am truly over this year.  It honestly was one of the crappiest years.  I lost my Mom, My daughter's health got worse and so did mine, my mental health has been shaken, and I got terminated from my job.

See why I am very unimpressed with this year?  The hard part is it means the last year my Princess is a child.  My little girl will turn 18 and then start her Senior year of high school.   That makes me sad and also ramps up my anxiety because that means new problems and I am totally unprepared to be the Mom of an adult who I still have to make all the decisions for because her health prevents her from being capable of doing it.  She is smart, and works hard.  She aspires to become a school teacher.  The problem is her seizures make life hard.  The truth is my adult child will still have days where she will be more like a 5 year old than an 18 year old. 

Totally not her fault and I accept that as her Mom this is absolutely my responsibility.  I have just spent 17.5 years making the decisions because she is a child.  What happens when I try to help and she says no because she really doesn't know what is happening right then or if I am unable to become her guardian so they will only talk to her and she gets too frustrated to make the right decisions?  Being a person with severe anxiety dealing with this has been an extremely difficult task.  I am soooo not ready.

As with the years past it does not matter how prepared or unprepared we are it will come.  It will bring with it whatever it wants and life will continue.  I think of the worst and pray for the best.  There will be no stopping it and all we can do is try to make each day count the best we can.

So as you close out these final days, just enjoy them because life is going to happen.  It will be messy sometimes and other times it will be great.  So my wish for all of you is that, May you have more great days than messy ones.

Thank you for visiting, until next time.

Quality-V-Quantity During the Holidays.

Hey there!!! With Christmas just round the corner I wanted to share something.  Do not forget what the holidays are all about.  Sue it is nice to get a gift from people, but the important part is the time spent.

Especially with kids.  Most of the time people can not remember what they got for Christmas when they were little but what they do remember is the people.  They remember that they always spent time with their loved ones.  That family was there.

Don't have a big family or really any family?  Again it is about quality.  Spend time with your favorite people.  Make the time count with the people that matter the most to you.  That is the big picture here.  For me and my daughter it is time with my parents.  Unfortunately since my Mom passed this year it is a little harder but that means the time with my Dad is even that much more special.

No matter who is there or what you do I sincerely hope you have a blessed and happy Holiday season.

Thanks for visiting talk to you soon.

Do You Need Extra Cash?

So this will be quick.  If you are in need of extra cash go to https://www.instagc.com/420755
You can earn as little or much as you want.  It is great if you have a bill to pay each month that is an extra like Netflix.  I make sure I make enough each month to cover Netflix.  I get to watch my shows and movies and I never actually pay for it.

You can watch videos, take surveys, print coupons, and so many other things to earn points and from now until the end of the year they are giving you a bonus!  For the points you earn each week you will earn a percentage extra as a bonus.  The more points you earn the bigger the bonus percentage gets.  You could pay for your whole Christmas if you really wanted to.  I have been using it for a few years.  Last year I made over $400 extra dollars just using this site.  This year I am behind but I have still made over $100.  By the time this month is over I will have earned enough to cover Netflix for a year and have a little extra.  What are you waiting for?

Thanks for reading.  Until next time.

How the Year began

So in previous posts I said I would explain a lot of other things, so here is the start of that.  This post will be hard so I will tell you how this year started and then I will highlight other events in another post so I can get through this one without losing it completely.

This year started out with my Dad letting me know my Mom had not been feeling well so she decided to go to the hospital.  That was nothing new as my Mom had been in the hospital many times before because she had pneumonia a lot and some times it got bad and she had COPD so she needed help sometime.  I asked him did I need to come and was assured that it was just a normal trip and things would be ok.  This went on for a few weeks and my Dad got the same answer from Dr.s and relayed it to me saying there was nothing serious happening the infections was just pretty bad and she had developed a UTI so it would just be a little longer .

At this point you are probably thinking why would I not have gone and visited my mom in the hospital after he being there for a few weeks.  Well as you may remember my daughter has seizures.  Things have been out of control and the hospital was over an hour drive and I also had to work to support me and my daughter.  I felt bad but my Dad reassured me that my Mom was ok and a couple times I even chatted with her on the phone so that made me feel a little more comfortable in the situation.


One day I get a call from my Dad and he is crying so I panic.  Finally he tells me he got a call and we have to make a decision. I am freaking out because who wants to do that.  So I go get my cousin from work down the road I smoke a million cigarettes (I know not the best idea) while we get my aunt and daughter.  My cousin goes back to work while me, my daughter , and aunt drive two hours to my Dad who is at his house in shock.  More family comes as we talk about what to do.  We decide that me and my Dad and daughter will go in the morning to talk to the Dr and get more information.

That was a complete disaster.  We get told different stories and that we should not have received that call.  Things were not good but they didn't think we were to that point yet.  My Mom was responding to us being there and even gave my Dad a kiss.  We were Pissed to say the least that they put us through that.  Family from out of state was on their way because we thought my Mom was about to die.  We visited with her and everyone and after a few days were assured that they were not convinced she was going to die soon.  We all go home and for two weeks my Dad tells us how things are getting better she is still responding to him and the Dr's are hopeful.  Things feel good.

Then it is February and my Mom's birthday is here and we are excited because she made it another year and things seemed good.  My Dad went to visit her and spent most of the day with her and said she was tired but doing good for her situation.  It was getting late so he told her that he was going back to the hotel room and would be back in the morning.  I had talked to him and her and we planned for us to come visit later because we wanted him to have the weekend with her.  It was about 11:00 pm on February 16, 2017 and I had just crawled into bed.  My phone lit up and it was my Dad, as I answered I grabbed my daughter and started getting out of bed and putting my shoes on.  What happened next has shattered our whole world.

They had called my Dad and said she didn't have much time.  Before I even hung up we were almost in the car and time was not real.  I had to get gas and bought more smoke (again I know, bad idea).  My daughter got a hold of people as I drove for what seemed like forever and got pulled over twice for a broken taillight.  We arrived and the strongest woman I know, the woman who taught me to be strong and be a mom was so weak.  She barely responded but tried to hang on.  We prayed, we brought in a priest for final rights, we told her to hold on, we cried.

On February 17, 2017 at 2:30 AM we had to make the hardest decision we have ever made.  After 69 years on Earth, 38 years of marriage, 38 years of being my Mom, I was the reason they got married :),being my daughters Grandma for 16 years, we had to say goodbye.  It was the worst day of my life.  Her body had shut down, while her brain was working.  It was so unreal.  This year has been so hard.  My Mom was the person I would call when I needed advice.  She would tell me straight, she would never tell me what I wanted to hear, but rather what I needed to hear, good or bad.  It was the end of the world that we knew and the next week following her death was beyond stressful.

This has been long but I promised. So that is how my year started and it is still not getting much better but that is for another post.  I need to get myself back together.  Thank you for reading.  Unitl next time.

Time Flies

So yesterday we had my daughter's 17th birthday party.  It is bittersweet to be honest.  On one hand I am excited to see what amazing things she does in the future, but on the other it is hard to admit that my little baby is 1 year away from being an adult.

When she was born 18 seemed so far away.  Even as the years passed it still seemed like there was plenty of time left for her to be a child.  To be honest even when she turned 16 it still didn't seem that close.  It felt like I still had all the time in the world.  Then this year hit and things took a crazy turn right from the start which I will get to in a later post but then it hit me.  My baby will be in her last year of childhood.

Next year my little princess will legally be an adult.  She will be left to be responsible for her own lief choices.  It is overwhelming. Did I do enough to prepare her for adulthood?  Will she be ready to face the world without me if needed?  It is really hard to accept this for me.

I plan to make this year great and just enjoy it.  I want her to enjoy the last year of childhood as stress free as possible.  I am determined to make sure I also do my best to make sure she feels ready to face her new challenges as they come.  I think as a parent you are never really ready for anything that happens the first time.  In the case of them growing up I feel like no matter how many kids you have it is always emotional when a child grows up.

So with that I congratulate all the parents out there on keeping it together while raising your kids.  To giving them your all and loving them each and everyday.  You Mom and Dad are rock stars.

Thank you for visiting.  Until next time.

Medical ID Bracelet

Before we get started, Yes I did sign up to get an incentive if someone buys one.  It was my choice they did not ask me.  I am working on a few projects that I will be telling you about in future posts so I am trying to earn money.  Why should we listen or buy this item then, is what you might be asking right now.

Well as many of you know my daughter has seizure disorder.  This is a game changer for families who are constantly dealing with medical personnel.  It puts medical information right there and takes away the stress of possibly forgetting something in an emergency situation.  I am in the process of purchasing mine as well.  This way if my daughter ends up at the hospital before I can get there they already have medical information at hand.  That is a huge relief as a parent to know my child will get the correct assistance when needed instead of them guessing until I get there.

She will be 18 next year and going to college the next so this is a God send really.  She can be a little more independent and I can have piece of mind knowing she will have the information she needs to be taken care of.  

I hope you will at least take a look at the product if you have a loved one with medical concerns.  You can buy if you want or not no pressure.  I just wanted to share with other people that could use some peace of mind.  To check it out click the following link http://lddy.no/odq

Thank you for visiting, until next time.

Product Testing

So I am am a member of an online community and some times they let you try items for free and then give them feedback on how you like the item.  I recently got such an opportunity.   I was asked to try Bic Gel-Ocity for free to keep as long as I gave a review after.  It is their latest gel pen for which they claim has the quickest drying time so there is no smudging.👍👍

I received my pens and liked the colors already.  It came with teal, pink, and purple. I decided to use the purple one as that is my favorite color.  The writing was very smooth and it dried quickly.  I did not notice any smudging either which was important because I used it to write my to do list.  I would recommend this pen.  I love office supplies and this would be at the top of my list for buying a pen.  More information can be found by going to http://h5.sml360.com/-/33q3f  💌

Thank you for visiting me again.  Until next time.

 #Gel-Ocity  #BIC

VACATION!!!!

So after not having any real time off to just chill with family or friends we are up north with my Dad. I will talk about this in a later post but in February my Mom passed and spending time with my Dad has become even more important to me.  Life is so precious.

My Daughter also turns 17 on Sunday and I have no idea where the times has gone.  So many things to plan and prepare for over the next year.  As we enjoy our vacation I am reminded of the importance of taking time for yourself.  I know easier said than done.  I rarely take time for myself, heck I don't even get alone time in the bathroom.  Either an animal is pushing its way in ahead of me or my Daughter finds this a good time to talk to me.

We were a little short on funds again this year and my Daughter's health has been all over the place so we did travel south as planned, but being here with my Dad and having time to just be in the moment is soooo worth just not being at home for a week.  I have had a crazy year and so much to do before winter gets here so it is nice to just take a break from dealing with that stuff, all of which I will get to as  I get back into the swing of my blogging.

Well not much else for today.  I just wanted to stick to my word of posting more often.  I will be posting more detailed things later that get you all caught up on what has kept me away.  Until next time.

I'm BACK!!!!!!!!

Hey guys!! I know it has been a long time since I have written.  SOOOO much has happened it is crazy.  I may not post every day to start but I want to get back to doing my blog and reaching out to people.  I have a new Facebook page and lots of thing to share bad and good.  Stay tuned because I am ready for my come back and to start sharing my successes again.  Talk soon.