Another Year Older

So my birthday was Sunday and now I am a year older.  I am in my late 30's and so much has happened in my life.  This last year has been a complete roller coaster.  Though I have figured out that each year I worry less about the number my birthday brings.

I am more happy with spending time with my family.  For the last 3 years I have used my birthday weekend to go with my daughter and my parents to Uncle John's Cider Mill.  I am in Michigan in case you didn't know and it is a very popular place during the fall.  They have a pumpkin patch and make their own cider and donuts.  When we get there we take the ride to the patch to get started.

We stroll through looking for the perfect pumpkins, then we load them in the car and head into the mill and get cider and donuts.  We pick out a table and eat and drink for a moment.  Before we go we hit the gift shop to see what new stuff they have that year.  It is a small trip but one I enjoy.  Why do I enjoy such a simple birthday?  Because it is with people I care so much about.

Sure I could have a huge party and invite a ton of people, but would it mean as much?  Would it create the great family memories that I now have.  Not at all.  My daughter will soon be grown herself and the childhood memories will be just that, memories.  She will have things of her own to do and ultimately have less time for these types of things.  I want to do things that make me happy.  Having my little quiet birthday does just that.  One year older and another year of joy.

Down With The Pounds

So I am down 5 more pounds.  I am working on eating out less to start.  I got a little side tracked and was eating out a little too much.  I have continued to have my smoothies with the protein powder.  I really like buying the frozen fruit at #Target.  It is very tasty and makes things very simple.  I have the #Nutribullet and I just put in the fruit and powder and blend it in the to go cup and drink it at work.

I have not started back to the gym yet.  I really need to go but I have napping way to much again.  That is a big down fall of mine.  Over the years I have been napping so much it is crazy.  I take my daughter to school then come sleep until the last minute before work.  Sooo not healthy.  Today I decided to stay awake.  Napping is a hard habit to break when you have been doing it for like 9 years now.

So what is your favorite way to spend your extra morning time?  What do you get done before leaving to work?  I will have an extra hour after I go to the gym when I start o I want some ideas of things I can accomplish with my extra time before I have to get ready to go.

When Does High School Drama Stop!

When we leave high school we think that all of that drama will be behind us.  We are having to leave all the childish things behind and start new.  It is a time that we can be happy that we have made it through those crazy years.  Or is it?

I just had an experience yesterday that made me feel like I was in high school all over again.  I had a friend send me a message claiming that his ex had just called him telling him that I had told people he was my now gone babies father.  Her and I no longer speak and they are separated and he lives in a totally different state.  She is the one who wanted him to leave so please tell me why she is causing drama?  She has so little meaning in my life that she is not even aware yet that I am no longer pregnant.  She claims it was some one who has been a friend for 15 years.  Not sure if she meant mine or hers but the only people that we have both known that long are people that I no longer even talk to.

My thing is if she wanted him gone and has possibly even moved on then why is she constantly calling him trying to start fights?  Why is she using me to try to start these fights and make my life harder?  I almost had a complete break down because when he asked me about it, it brought back those feelings of losing my child all over again.  

She clearly is out to hurt people.  It is a totally childish thing to do.  Especially for a person who is almost 30.  Like do we not have grown up things to do, like maybe be a parent and mind your own business.  If you don't want to friends any more fine I am a big girl I have my own life.  If you don't want to be married that is your business but don't try making others miserable just because you are apparently not happy about some thing.  We Are Not In High School!!!!!

Weight Update

So I am down 5 pounds.  It is not a ton but it is a start.  I have continued to use the smoothies with the protein powder.  I have tried not to eat fast food as much and keep the sugary drinks low.  I will never completely cut out #coke but I do try to not over do it either.  My goal is no more than one a day but some times I have more than that and it is ok too.  I will be attempting to go back to the gym starting Monday however I have been in quite a bit of pain so we shall see how that starts out.

I am not trying to starve myself nor deprive myself.  I am just trying to be a healthier me and a more confident me.  You do not have to be a size 2 in order to be happy.  If you are being healthy and you are you are happy at a size 10 then that is fine too.  It is all about how you feel about yourself and if you are happy.  Now I am not promoting being 300 pounds and thinking that is fine but I am not saying you have to be a twig either.  If what you are doing is making you unhealthy or unhappy then you should fix it. You do not want to die at 35 because you loved cheeseburgers too much but having them now and then is not the end of the world

I will continue my journey until I am happy with the results.  I am not sure what size that will make me.  I do know that what ever size I end up it will be what I am happy with and not a number that some chart has labeled me as needing to be.

Kids Growing UP

So the girl is in her freshman year of high school.  It has not started out so well but I know she has to grow up a little some time.  It is hard but I am trying my best.  This week she has her first homecoming dance.  Now she has been to other dances but nothing so important like this.  This is a big first step.

She originally even had a date to go but unfortunately he can't go now for what ever reason.  Honestly I am ok with that to tell the truth.  I was not ready for her to have a date too.  She seems to be ok and says she is going no matter what.  I am proud of her for stepping out of her comfort zone as well.  This is something that before she would not have been so willing to do.  All the other dances I had to be a chaperon so she would go.  This time she was the one who made the decision and knows I won't be there but she can call me if she needs me and I will be right there.

I think that is an important factor in her feeling confident in this new journey.  I have made sure she knows that no matter what she can count on me,  I always tell  her even if it is something that might make me mad she can always call me for help.  I tell her I might be mad but we can talk about it and I would rather her tell me the truth then lie and end up in danger.  She knows that even if she wants to date or drinks at a party she can talk to me and we will get through whatever together.  I want her to know that I am there.  Even if she makes a bad choice I would rather her come to me for help than get hurt.

Lazy Cold Day

It is turning into fall here.  It is cold outside and I officially have the heat on.  Plus it is raining so it i even colder.  Today I basically lazy.  The girl and I did do some cleaning but not enough to really count.  I ordered another blanket so the animals can stop stealing mine.  It is a #victoriasecret sherpa so it is very warm.

I really have no plans for this weekend.  She goes with her dad tomorrow so I have no idea what I want to do.  Probably going to be lazy again until it is time to go get her.  I really should be more productive but I really do not feel like it.  I have so much work to do around here.  Does the cold weather do this to anyone else?

It is like it just drains a person of all life.  I need to find a way to get going because my daughter has made a huge mess of my house and it is not going to clean itself.  The desire to sleep is so strong though.  Hopefully tomorrow I will be more motivated or at least fake it enough to get some stuff done.  I have a ton of clothes to go through and some already bagged up to donate.  I just need to get it done.

Well wish me luck hopefully I can get going.

On To Healthier things

Awhile back I was going to take you on my journey of weight loss.  Unfortunately things did not work out the way I planned.  I was not on a good schedule and such.  Well I am going to get started again.  To update everyone I am no longer pregnant so I can start this journey again.  I will be honest so others can feel more secure in doing this as well.

I am starting out at 199 pounds.  This is quite big for me since I am only about 5 foot.  I gather all my fat in my mid section so it looks very odd.  I used to weigh about 104 pounds so I went up quite a bit obviously.  I hope you will join me in this if nothing else just to be a healthier you.  The whole goal is to be healthy.  I will tal about numbers but the real goal is to think more about our bodies.

My first effort is my morning smoothie.  I have a #Nutribullet and I use frozen fruit for the most part.  I do add bananas and apples at times as well.  I then add some protein powder and then blend it and take it to work with me.  I need to add exercise so I have a gym membership and intend to start going starting on Monday.  Lets do this together.  It is better when you have motivation and a group to do it with. The more support we all have the better we will do.

#letsgetmoving