Quality-V-Quantity During the Holidays.

Hey there!!! With Christmas just round the corner I wanted to share something.  Do not forget what the holidays are all about.  Sue it is nice to get a gift from people, but the important part is the time spent.

Especially with kids.  Most of the time people can not remember what they got for Christmas when they were little but what they do remember is the people.  They remember that they always spent time with their loved ones.  That family was there.

Don't have a big family or really any family?  Again it is about quality.  Spend time with your favorite people.  Make the time count with the people that matter the most to you.  That is the big picture here.  For me and my daughter it is time with my parents.  Unfortunately since my Mom passed this year it is a little harder but that means the time with my Dad is even that much more special.

No matter who is there or what you do I sincerely hope you have a blessed and happy Holiday season.

Thanks for visiting talk to you soon.

A Positive Spin

So since the beginning of the year I have made an intentional effort to be more positive.  It has been going well and it is making things seem a little easier.  I have even been making a joke about things that are going bad and not letting them get to me as much.  I know it is only 5 days into the new year but I can see the affects already.  I notice my days are a lot easier and it is not as rough to go to work.  Things are easier to deal with even when it is a rough topic.

I am determined to keep this going all year.  No matter what happens I want to keep a positive attitude.  I am seeking God more in my life and actively seeking the good things that are going on.  I am not letting people get to me with negative thoughts or comments.  It is all in how you look at the world.  I want to see it as a good place.  I want my daughter to go into the world and create a positive space and I can't expect her to see the positive if I don't myself

We owe it to ourselves to have the best life we can,  There is no way to achieve that if we are constantly going around looking at the negative around us.  If we create peace and Joy around us then it will spread, It will infect others and help make the world a better place around us.

Stay true to yourself.  Find your own beauty and dance to your own music.

Merry Christmas

I just wanted to take a moment to wish every one a very merry Christmas.  This time of year is such a great time.  It is a time to slow down and be with family and friends.  I get to enjoy being with everyone.  I love the excitement of the year and being with my daughter.

Today we spent time with my parents.  We don't see them much any more since they moved up north from us.  We are lucky to still have them around so I love the time I get to spend with them.  It is a time to just relax and take in the world around us.  You know that the new year is right around the corner and so many possibilities are coming.

I have heard people say " who cares about the new year it is just going to be the same stuff another year longer".  Well I like to think that  it means we can look toward something new coming.  New year dreams, new adventures, new blessings, a time for new ideas.  I like to think of it as a fresh time to get going.  It is like how nature takes time to rest during winter and them blooms bright come spring.  Well that is what we can do with the new year. We come back refreshed from all the stuff that has happened over the past year.  Brush it off and think of the amazing adventure ahead.

With that said I hope you have a very blessed week ahead and smile as you look forward to all the possibilities  that are headed your way.

Happy Holidays from our house to yours.

Feeling Pretty Good

So for a long time things were really rough.  Then all of the sudden the other day I was sitting here doing my surveys and such and it hit me.  I was fine.  I wasn't stressed even though a lot of things were crazy.  I was relaxed and at peace with my situation.  I didn't care that things were going wrong. I was just enjoying sitting with my daughter and doing my thing.  It was a great feeling.

As you all know it has been a long time that things have been going crazy for me.  Every day I woke up worried about what was going to go wrong and would I make it just one more day.  This day it was all gone.  I wasn't worried, or stressed or anything of the sort.  I was just at peace.  It was an amazing moment for me.  It has been so long but I got there.  Every day since I have thought about that feeling and I keep it going.  Not every day is perfect and sunshine but I am still here.

I am also thinking about taking a big step into a career change where I am in charge.  I want to help people.  I want it to be in a big way though so I am thinking of becoming a life coach.  I can help people figure out what they want to do and how to get there.  I am not sure this is my true calling but it has been on my mind day after day for at least a week now so I am researching the topic.  I think it would be amazing to help others find their true passion and how to get there.

I am ready to change and do big things with my life.  I know I am poor in money but I am rich in faith and spirit.  I am going to make it.  So will you.

Just a Little Chat

So the holidays are upon us.  For me that means shopping for my daughter, parents and a few friends.  It is a time to just be with family and enjoy,  we can start to look forward to the next year as well.  It is a fun time of year.

Some people get all stressed out and are so caught up in the shopping they miss out on the joy of the season.  I like just slowing down and enjoying what is going on in my life.  My daughter gets so excited about Christmas still which is nice to see at her age.  We take time to pick out the gifts for everyone together.  She is very particular about what she wants to get people.  We help buy gifts for a needy child each year and she likes picking stuff out for them.  I think she would spend every last dollar I have on them if I would let her.  I feel blessed to have raised such a caring child.

As we get closer I want to slow down even more and enjoy the time.  It seems like each year it goes faster and faster, before I know it she will be 18 and graduating high school and off to college.  I want to enjoy every last second I can.  Even though this year has been so rough, when I stop to think there is still so much to be thankful for.

So as the holidays roll through take take the time to enjoy the people around you.  Slow down and just take it all in.  It is going to go by no matter what so why not just enjoy it.  You will not get time to do it again.

Holding On By a Thread

Lately it has been one mess after another it seems like.  This has been an extremely challenging year.  There was my daughter and all the sinecures she was having.  Her health was beginning   to decline and I was scared that she may not make it through the year.  It was an extremely hard point in life.

Then there was the baby.  It is still haunting me almost every day.  I always think about it and how things would be different if I was still pregnant.  I know things happen for a reason but it doesn't make the situation hurt any less. My uncle that past away in June would have had his birthday yesterday.  We decided to have a small family dinner in his honor.  My cousin had his new baby there and I couldn't even look at it or go int the same room.  It was horrible.

People who I thought were my friends have basically cut me off and no longer really even acknowledge me because they feel I don't have time for them and such.  I guess that isn't too bad considering they have not taken me and my daughter into consideration and feel like we should worry about them more even though my life has been a mess.

The topper is now I am on the verge of losing my job.  I do not make enough really as it is and now I might lose the only income I really have. I already owe like everyone a ton of money so losing my job is not really feasible. I have no control over it though at this point which makes it tough.  They will either keep me or they won't.

So This year has not been one of my favorites.  It has been one of the most trying, yet here I am still.  I have no idea why I am here or what my purpose is but I am here.  I will still take each day as it comes but what my reason is right now I do not know

Another Year Older

So my birthday was Sunday and now I am a year older.  I am in my late 30's and so much has happened in my life.  This last year has been a complete roller coaster.  Though I have figured out that each year I worry less about the number my birthday brings.

I am more happy with spending time with my family.  For the last 3 years I have used my birthday weekend to go with my daughter and my parents to Uncle John's Cider Mill.  I am in Michigan in case you didn't know and it is a very popular place during the fall.  They have a pumpkin patch and make their own cider and donuts.  When we get there we take the ride to the patch to get started.

We stroll through looking for the perfect pumpkins, then we load them in the car and head into the mill and get cider and donuts.  We pick out a table and eat and drink for a moment.  Before we go we hit the gift shop to see what new stuff they have that year.  It is a small trip but one I enjoy.  Why do I enjoy such a simple birthday?  Because it is with people I care so much about.

Sure I could have a huge party and invite a ton of people, but would it mean as much?  Would it create the great family memories that I now have.  Not at all.  My daughter will soon be grown herself and the childhood memories will be just that, memories.  She will have things of her own to do and ultimately have less time for these types of things.  I want to do things that make me happy.  Having my little quiet birthday does just that.  One year older and another year of joy.

New Decisions

So after a long weekend and a lot of emotions I am trying to make a change.  I have decided I need to make some serious changes to my life.  I have had so many emotional things happen and I have been let down by so many.  I realized this weekend that I have given so much of myself to make others happy without worrying about the consequences it would have on me.  I have put them above my own mental and physical health.  It is time to stop this cycle.

It is ok to help people and consider how your actions will affect others, but at the end of the day you have to make sure you and your family are taken care of.  If you let yourself bottle everything up then eventually you will finally break. This is what happened to me over the weekend.  I realized how many people have  used me for their benefit and then when I was no longer needed they dropped me.  I was to trusting that they cared as much as I did but I was wrong.

The problem is my heart is too open.  I am not saying be closed off completely but you really have to know the people you let in your circle.  Make sure the people you invest your time in are investing their time back into you.  Even a little bit.  They may never be able to give as much as you for whatever reason, but make sure they are giving back and not just taking.  If you are the only one giving in a relationship then it might be time to re-evaluate things between you.

I want everyone to live an emotionally healthy life.  Please just keep an eye on who you are letting in your life.  Make sure they are making you as happy as you make them.  Life is give and take.  Please take the time to love and live to the fullest.

Feelings Are In

So now that I have officially announced that I am pregnant I am having backwards emotions. I am feeling overwhelmed.  I am not feeling the attachment I thought I would.  I am more scared than anything.  I so worried about what is going to be affected and if I am going to regret this.

I am going to be a single mom again.  I worry that my daughter is going to regret the new baby.  What if I can't take care of the new one.  I am so freaking out to tell the truth.  I really have no anything right now.  I know this sounds harsh but as parents we should be able to express our real feelings. Not ever pregnancy is rainbows and sprinkles.

They can be very scary and draining.  Things can go wrong or like me you may have no clue that this is still possible so it is total shock.  Why do we have to pretend that it is all wonderful if that is not how we feel. People keep saying that I will be more into it when it gets closer.  Well what if I am not?  This is a real concern of mine,  What if my older daughter doesn't connect with it.

There are just so many things running in my brain.  Doing it alone is much harder than the first time.  I thought I would be ok but the truth is I am petrified and that is my reality.

So Christmas Is Here

So Christmas is here.  People are excited and can barely contain themselves.  It is a great time of year.  We get to relax for a day and just take it all in.  It is the prize we get for making it all year long even through Thanksgiving when Black Friday hits and people lose there minds. 

So what is really important about Christmas.  Well it is a time when we as Christians can teach people about the birth of Jesus Christ.  We can touch the lives of others and hopefully help them learn about what Christmas is all about.  Now if you don't believe in God I am not here to preach to you and make you feel bad.  I am just saying that it is a chance to get the word out to people about a wonderful savior that is here. We can reach out to families that want to know more about what this season is about.

It is also a chance for family to spend time with each other.  We get one day to sit with each other and look back at all the amazing things that happened during the year.  I saw an idea on Pinterest and it was to put a slip of paper in a jar telling each time something good happened then on New Years eve take them out and read them so you can remember how good the year really was.  Me and my daughter have been doing this so I can not wait to pull them out and remember the awesomeness that was 2013. 

Christmas is a time of togetherness.  So make sure that you slow down.  Take it all in together.  Make sure you say I love you to the people that really matter most.  Even if you had a rough year there is something to be grateful for, even if it is just that you made it through the year and now have another to turn things around.  Just take the time to enjoy it.  Even if you don't have a ton of gifts to give you get to be with people you care for and that is worth more than anything you can purchase.

I probably wont write the next two days so I hope you guys out there have a blessed and wonderful Christmas.  I hope your time with your family is the best part of your year.

That Funny Feeling

So I forgot to bring my meds with me on vacation so it has been 3 days with out them. I had planned to phase them out any way but this was a little faster than I had planned. I am having the foggy feeling from the withdrawal. It is not as bad as I thought it would be but it is still uncomfortable. I figure that by the time I got back home it should be over with. I am still working on the site so It is a work in progress. It is not completely the way I want it yet but it is getting there. I hope that as it grows you will enjoy visiting and the benefits it offers. Please feel free to offer advice or ask any questions as I continue this new journey.