Lately it has been one mess after another it seems like. This has been an extremely challenging year. There was my daughter and all the sinecures she was having. Her health was beginning to decline and I was scared that she may not make it through the year. It was an extremely hard point in life.
Then there was the baby. It is still haunting me almost every day. I always think about it and how things would be different if I was still pregnant. I know things happen for a reason but it doesn't make the situation hurt any less. My uncle that past away in June would have had his birthday yesterday. We decided to have a small family dinner in his honor. My cousin had his new baby there and I couldn't even look at it or go int the same room. It was horrible.
People who I thought were my friends have basically cut me off and no longer really even acknowledge me because they feel I don't have time for them and such. I guess that isn't too bad considering they have not taken me and my daughter into consideration and feel like we should worry about them more even though my life has been a mess.
The topper is now I am on the verge of losing my job. I do not make enough really as it is and now I might lose the only income I really have. I already owe like everyone a ton of money so losing my job is not really feasible. I have no control over it though at this point which makes it tough. They will either keep me or they won't.
So This year has not been one of my favorites. It has been one of the most trying, yet here I am still. I have no idea why I am here or what my purpose is but I am here. I will still take each day as it comes but what my reason is right now I do not know