About Me

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Lansing, Michigan, United States
I am a Mother, a mentor, a business owner, an employee. I am a person I have a busy life and would like to help others deal with their busy lives.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Today Is One Of Those Days

So today was another good day at work.  With another crazy coworker day and a lot of nonsense work to be done.  I dove in and kept smiling even at the nonsense.  I have actually been in good mood for the fact that today was supposed to be special.  I should be celebrating and remembering a perfect day.  It should have been one of the happiest days of the year.

Unfortunately for our 8 year anniversary me and my husband are now separated.  When we should have been celebrating I have a feeling he was spending time with his new girlfriend whom he ironically met this time last year but didn't tell me about her until she moved here into his house which was like 2 months after he moved back home.  It was a blow for sure.  I mean we had our problems but the whole time we were separated for military reasons we were still talking and texting on a regular basis.  He is soo different now and it has really hurt a lot.  He not only treats me different but also our daughter as well.

She text him today and he never even responded.  He does this quite often and it is really confusing for her.  She and her Dad used to hang out all the time and now he chooses the new girl over her as well.  I think that is what makes it so hard even today.  She will be 13 next month which is such a special age and he won't even text me back to talk about her birthday.  It is a mess.

I am surprised by how calm I have really been today though.  I have been smiling and trying to get things accomplished and move ahead and do what is best for my daughter.  I just hate that I feel like I wasted the last 10 years of my life with this guy.  I was with him for 2 years before we got married and he knew how I felt because of past relationships but he made me forget all that.

He was fun and always made me feel special when we were together.  Eventually he asked and I said yes 8 years later he has a new girl and I have a lot of broken promises.  I really wanted to work things out as sad as that may seem to some.  I am starting to realize that even though I love him I can not just sit and wait to see if he gets bored with her and comes back.

The lack of anger and hurt that I do have today makes me realize that even though this has been hard I can still smile and I will at some point be OK.  I am going to be sad and I will always have some kind of love for him but I think that it is time for me to only look forward and smile at the sun.  I want my daughter to know she comes from a strong person and she can make it too.

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