I have decided to focus on real talk about this pregnancy. People are always talking about how great it is to be pregnant. Well some times it is not and I think we should be able to talk about those things too.
So as much trouble as I am already having with this whole pregnancy thing, now I found out that all the medical stuff that was tested when this was discovered was messed up. They contradicted each other and now I have no idea what else is wrong with me.
I have come to understand that I may not even stay pregnant. I may have to give up the idea due to, too many other complications going on. I have to make choices based on the facts and since I already have a child here that I need to take care of. She has medical things that require extra attention.
I have so many emotions right now. Confusion is the biggest. I am not really attached but I feel guilty about choices being made. I worry about my daughter but she seems to not be fully interested either so I probably don't have to worry about her but I do. I have talked to the father and he says he will still be there emotionally for me no matter what happens. That is helpful at least, even if that is all he can offer right now I will take.
My body is having so many problems it is unreal. I am not quite 4 months but I already feel like I am due now. I am miserable and if I go to term I will be in so much pain it will be unreal.