So I have been writing about my pregnancy lately. It was crazy to find out in the first place and then to find out it is in jeopardy. I have had to sit and think about my options as it pertains to every one. I have severe health issues and do I want to go all the rest of the months for nothing. I can barely take care of my daughter that already has health issues and there are many months to go.
I have an appointment on Tuesday and I am going to discuss ending the pregnancy. I know that this is a very controversial issue and many people will be offended by my decision. I must say I never thought I would ever even think about doing it, but here I am faced with a million uncertainties and a child that is 15 and quite often still needs my help to shower. I know that I may lose readers and people might even leave nasty comments.
I understand where those people are coming from I really do. I know what I am saying and I know what it means if I go through with it. It is going to be very painful and emotional and I will have to live with the decision for the rest of my life. Let me just say that it has not been easy to think about. I have had to think about all the pros and cons for the last month now. It is really hard to even think about. The alternative is just as hard. I may have to watch my child suffer because I can,t help her or know that I am going to go full term for nothing or have another child that needs full attention.
How do I say one child needs me more than the other. How do I decide which one is more important than the other? Do I leave one suffering while I help the other in distress? What if they are both in distress at the same time? There are so many factors to consider. There is also my health to consider. If I am too sick to do anything then who takes care of them? If I go full term and my health gets so bad do I recover? What about my daughter who is here how can I be 100% for her?
I understand people will be mad. Though as I have pointed out it is not always about just ending things. There are many reasons why I am leaning toward this decision. It isn't always about finances or just using it for birth control. Some women have real reasons they may have to make this choice. I am sure people are going to have an opinion but at the end of the day it is about what is best for everyone.