Your New Bundle

Hey guys, I hope today is going well for you.  I was thinking and realized that some of you out there are getting ready to have a baby.  It must be so scary to be thinking about bringing a new life into this crazy time.  I want to assure you it is going to be ok.

The world has faced many crazy times before, we have had to deal with extreme uncertainty many times.  We have faced severe diseases before and while scary, we have made it.  This is not the first global crisis nor will it be our last and that is just a fact.  What we do know is that we have made it each time one has popped up, this will be no exception.

With that said embrace this time.  Enjoy the journey, before you know it that baby will be here and you will be so full of love.  Enjoy every day, you will soon be watching them grow and turn into and amazing little person.

I know you are trying to get items around to be prepared and it can be a little difficult right now so here is a link to a discount on some items you might need or just want.  Enjoy https://amzn.to/2VzFeKq  lets beat this lockdown together, just as long as it is 6 feet apart

Graduation Time

So it happened.  My daughter graduated high school on Saturday.  It seems like not so long ago she was starting her first day of Kindergarten.  I cried that day.  I knew she was growing up and it was scary.  I cried on graduation day because she is a grown up, and it is scary.

It is bitter sweet really.  I knew it would come but I was still not prepared for it.  She really does deserve it though.  She worked very hard.  She fought each day to do her hardest.  She has Seizures, ADHD and some other things that really made it a challenge to remember all that she had learned.

Despite  these things she studied and worked hard to get the best grade she could each and everyday.  She is so smart too.  The seizures have robbed her of some memory but none the less she made good grades.  She worked hard and even won a scholarship for college.  She will be going in the fall.

She wants to be a teacher.  She wants to teach kindergarten or preschool.   She says she wants to make a difference by giving children the same start she got.  She loves school and really wants children to want to be there.  We joke about how she finished school, to go to school, so she can work at school.

Even though it has been a tough road she never gave up.  I could not be prouder of her.  I know she will do great things.  I have complete faith that she will make a change in the world.

                                                   

Time Flies

So yesterday we had my daughter's 17th birthday party.  It is bittersweet to be honest.  On one hand I am excited to see what amazing things she does in the future, but on the other it is hard to admit that my little baby is 1 year away from being an adult.

When she was born 18 seemed so far away.  Even as the years passed it still seemed like there was plenty of time left for her to be a child.  To be honest even when she turned 16 it still didn't seem that close.  It felt like I still had all the time in the world.  Then this year hit and things took a crazy turn right from the start which I will get to in a later post but then it hit me.  My baby will be in her last year of childhood.

Next year my little princess will legally be an adult.  She will be left to be responsible for her own lief choices.  It is overwhelming. Did I do enough to prepare her for adulthood?  Will she be ready to face the world without me if needed?  It is really hard to accept this for me.

I plan to make this year great and just enjoy it.  I want her to enjoy the last year of childhood as stress free as possible.  I am determined to make sure I also do my best to make sure she feels ready to face her new challenges as they come.  I think as a parent you are never really ready for anything that happens the first time.  In the case of them growing up I feel like no matter how many kids you have it is always emotional when a child grows up.

So with that I congratulate all the parents out there on keeping it together while raising your kids.  To giving them your all and loving them each and everyday.  You Mom and Dad are rock stars.

Thank you for visiting.  Until next time.

Just A Brief Moment

I am a little behind I know I need to give the next way I earn money.  I am actually doing a lot more, I am no longer working as of last Monday.  It has been great actually other than less money to work with at this point now but I refuse to give up on my debt free journey.  Currently I am working on earning Amazon points to pay for my daughters sweet 16 party.

I am super happy so far not working.  I have been able to be here for my daughter and actually get the rest that I need personally to recover mentally from all the stuff that has been going on.  I am not saying go out and quit your job but, I really feel that some people are not meant to work in a corporate world.  Ever since I was a kid I knew that I was not suited to work for the big companies and after many unhappy long years I am looking into pursuing something that is actually suited for me.

I will be back with more money making opportunities soon so do not worry,  Until then check out the older post for previously mentioned ways to earn and keep on working on the debt free journey.  God did not make you to struggle so stick with me, we can do this together.

Serious Thinking

I have so much going through my head lately.  I want a change so I have a lot of things to accomplish ahead.  I could lose my job any day so that really puts a spin on the situation,  I need a job that lets me just work and has structure.  If I could afford to work for myself I totally would because it would make things so much better around here.  Sales jobs are just not my thing.  If some one doesn't want to buy something I am not one to really push the issue.

I want so much more for my daughters future so I have a lot of work to so there as well.  She only has 2 years until college.  It may seem like I have time but if you are a parent you know how fast time flies.  I want to give her the sweet 16 she is dreaming of and also give her the choice of whatever college she wants.

I want a better future for myself as well not just sitting on my couch because I am poor or do not feel good half the time.  I want to be able to enjoy life a little.  I think I need to make a check list of things I want to do do so that I can keep up on my goals, then as I check them off it will also help me have a sense of accomplishment.  I think I just want my life to mean something one day.  I am not saying I need to be mega famous but when my daughter talks about me to her grand kids I want it to be positive things.

I know we all feel this way at some point but I want to do something about that feeling.  I want to actually make that feeling go away and turn it into something positive.  I want to look back on my life and be completely at peace when it is time for me to leave this world.

Merry Christmas

I just wanted to take a moment to wish every one a very merry Christmas.  This time of year is such a great time.  It is a time to slow down and be with family and friends.  I get to enjoy being with everyone.  I love the excitement of the year and being with my daughter.

Today we spent time with my parents.  We don't see them much any more since they moved up north from us.  We are lucky to still have them around so I love the time I get to spend with them.  It is a time to just relax and take in the world around us.  You know that the new year is right around the corner and so many possibilities are coming.

I have heard people say " who cares about the new year it is just going to be the same stuff another year longer".  Well I like to think that  it means we can look toward something new coming.  New year dreams, new adventures, new blessings, a time for new ideas.  I like to think of it as a fresh time to get going.  It is like how nature takes time to rest during winter and them blooms bright come spring.  Well that is what we can do with the new year. We come back refreshed from all the stuff that has happened over the past year.  Brush it off and think of the amazing adventure ahead.

With that said I hope you have a very blessed week ahead and smile as you look forward to all the possibilities  that are headed your way.

Happy Holidays from our house to yours.

Feeling Pretty Good

So for a long time things were really rough.  Then all of the sudden the other day I was sitting here doing my surveys and such and it hit me.  I was fine.  I wasn't stressed even though a lot of things were crazy.  I was relaxed and at peace with my situation.  I didn't care that things were going wrong. I was just enjoying sitting with my daughter and doing my thing.  It was a great feeling.

As you all know it has been a long time that things have been going crazy for me.  Every day I woke up worried about what was going to go wrong and would I make it just one more day.  This day it was all gone.  I wasn't worried, or stressed or anything of the sort.  I was just at peace.  It was an amazing moment for me.  It has been so long but I got there.  Every day since I have thought about that feeling and I keep it going.  Not every day is perfect and sunshine but I am still here.

I am also thinking about taking a big step into a career change where I am in charge.  I want to help people.  I want it to be in a big way though so I am thinking of becoming a life coach.  I can help people figure out what they want to do and how to get there.  I am not sure this is my true calling but it has been on my mind day after day for at least a week now so I am researching the topic.  I think it would be amazing to help others find their true passion and how to get there.

I am ready to change and do big things with my life.  I know I am poor in money but I am rich in faith and spirit.  I am going to make it.  So will you.

On To Healthier things

Awhile back I was going to take you on my journey of weight loss.  Unfortunately things did not work out the way I planned.  I was not on a good schedule and such.  Well I am going to get started again.  To update everyone I am no longer pregnant so I can start this journey again.  I will be honest so others can feel more secure in doing this as well.

I am starting out at 199 pounds.  This is quite big for me since I am only about 5 foot.  I gather all my fat in my mid section so it looks very odd.  I used to weigh about 104 pounds so I went up quite a bit obviously.  I hope you will join me in this if nothing else just to be a healthier you.  The whole goal is to be healthy.  I will tal about numbers but the real goal is to think more about our bodies.

My first effort is my morning smoothie.  I have a #Nutribullet and I use frozen fruit for the most part.  I do add bananas and apples at times as well.  I then add some protein powder and then blend it and take it to work with me.  I need to add exercise so I have a gym membership and intend to start going starting on Monday.  Lets do this together.  It is better when you have motivation and a group to do it with. The more support we all have the better we will do.

#letsgetmoving

New Decisions

So after a long weekend and a lot of emotions I am trying to make a change.  I have decided I need to make some serious changes to my life.  I have had so many emotional things happen and I have been let down by so many.  I realized this weekend that I have given so much of myself to make others happy without worrying about the consequences it would have on me.  I have put them above my own mental and physical health.  It is time to stop this cycle.

It is ok to help people and consider how your actions will affect others, but at the end of the day you have to make sure you and your family are taken care of.  If you let yourself bottle everything up then eventually you will finally break. This is what happened to me over the weekend.  I realized how many people have  used me for their benefit and then when I was no longer needed they dropped me.  I was to trusting that they cared as much as I did but I was wrong.

The problem is my heart is too open.  I am not saying be closed off completely but you really have to know the people you let in your circle.  Make sure the people you invest your time in are investing their time back into you.  Even a little bit.  They may never be able to give as much as you for whatever reason, but make sure they are giving back and not just taking.  If you are the only one giving in a relationship then it might be time to re-evaluate things between you.

I want everyone to live an emotionally healthy life.  Please just keep an eye on who you are letting in your life.  Make sure they are making you as happy as you make them.  Life is give and take.  Please take the time to love and live to the fullest.

Feelings Are In

So now that I have officially announced that I am pregnant I am having backwards emotions. I am feeling overwhelmed.  I am not feeling the attachment I thought I would.  I am more scared than anything.  I so worried about what is going to be affected and if I am going to regret this.

I am going to be a single mom again.  I worry that my daughter is going to regret the new baby.  What if I can't take care of the new one.  I am so freaking out to tell the truth.  I really have no anything right now.  I know this sounds harsh but as parents we should be able to express our real feelings. Not ever pregnancy is rainbows and sprinkles.

They can be very scary and draining.  Things can go wrong or like me you may have no clue that this is still possible so it is total shock.  Why do we have to pretend that it is all wonderful if that is not how we feel. People keep saying that I will be more into it when it gets closer.  Well what if I am not?  This is a real concern of mine,  What if my older daughter doesn't connect with it.

There are just so many things running in my brain.  Doing it alone is much harder than the first time.  I thought I would be ok but the truth is I am petrified and that is my reality.

The Biggest Surprise Ever

So I had been super sick for weeks and with a history of health conditions it was time to go to the Dr.  I went and they did all of the usual stuff.  They started with the Urine test and then did the blood work and then due to my PCOS they sent me to get an Ultrasound in case of cysts or cancer.  They also wanted an ultrasound of my thyroid in case.

Last Tuesday was the day I was scheduled for the ultrasounds.  They were taking a million pictures and not really telling me much.  Then the tech says they would not be able to tell me any results that day but they should be available in 24-48 hours.  She keeps scanning because she has to do the uterus and both ovaries.  By now my bladder is beyond full and I just want to get to the part where I get to go to the bath room.

Suddenly she says you have a little one in there.  I look at her thinking she is talking about a cyst of some sort so I say excuse me?  She says you have a little one in there as in a baby.  WHAT!?!?!?!?  Sure enough I am pregnant again.

Talk about a major surprise!  My only child just turned 15 years old.  I am in my late 30's and not to mention I was told it wouldn't happen again due to my medical history.  Craziest moment ever.  So here I am laying there and she shows me the baby and plays it's heartbeat for me.  I was already 14 weeks pregnant.  I couldn't believe it.  I am going to be starting over again.  I hae not done this forever.

I am going to blog the next 5 months.  Hopefully it may help another older unexpecting mother at some point.  Plus my circumstance is not as completely joyous as you would think.  I will be single mothering with no help of any kind from the other parent so this will be interesting.  STAY TUNED!

Happy New Year!

So it is 2015.  Hopefully you have learned a few tips to give you a great year.  I am really excited about this year.  I feel like I am going to get somewhere.  I feel like that My debt is going to be gone this year other than student loans.  Those are going to be the last things I tackle.  I will be using the many I get from saving so much to make the payment.  It will be refreshing to know that is the end of my debt.

I hope that you guys will have a great year and start to get ahead on your debt.  It is really a great feeling to get to keep some of that money you work so hard to make.  It is tiring to go to work every day and have nothing to show for it.  I will be so excited when I start getting paid and the money is actually mine to do as I wish not figure out who I can pay this week and who will have to wait until the next payday.  I get 3 pay checks this month and taxes are right around the corner.

The best thing about taxes is you can pay off something.  I don't care if it is the smallest bill you have, pay it off.  That will free up not only your money but it will help free you from stress.  Then you can concentrate on other bills.  I already know what I am doing with my taxes.  I have been planning it for months.  I know what I want to accomplish when I get my return.  I know what I need to do to get ahead.

You should sit down and make a list.  It doesn't matter if you don't know how much you are going to get.  You know what you need to pay off.  So put it in writing from most important to what you would like to pay off but can wait a minute.  The goal is to be ready so when that money gets there.  You will have a set plan.  Then you follow it.  That is all there is too it.  Now if between now and then something major happens you can adjust the list but the main thing is to be ready and have a plan.  The problem is that most people get so excited about getting them they start thinking about all the stuff they can buy.  They make these purchases but never take care of the old debt so then they have all this new stuff but still no money.  Not a good plan.  You just start regretting what you did and then you really can't enjoy the new stuff.

So I hope you will join me this year in making this year our best debt free year ever.  I hope that you will find your way to becoming debt free.  What ever works for you I hope you will use it and get to a comfortable relationship with your money.

Follow up

So this week was supposed to start a series on saving money and slowly getting ahead.  Unfortunately I was not able to start this week due to some personal issues.  I will be starting the series on Monday.  I really hope to have you here so we can go through this journey together.  I really am excited to help you all succeed in your financial future.  Please come back Monday and bring your positive attitude because we are going to make some changes.  This will be the beginning of financial freedom.  I hope to see you here.

Time To Find My Purpose

So it is going on two years since I came back from down south.  Two years since I found out my husband was cheating on me and wanted to end our marriage.  It has been a long all most two years and nothing has really changed.  I am still alone and broke.  I have so many ideas all the time but never act on any of them so that is not good.

I was not born to just get by.  No one is.  We all have a purpose here and we are destined to do great things really.  We all have that one thing we are meant to do, and we are meant to do it in a way no one else can.  The problem is life starts happening and we lose sight of these things.  We start to doubt our abilities in life.  It is tragic how many people go through life and never meet there potential.  Well no more.

Before I die I will find my purpose and I will be great at whatever it is that I was destined to do.  I need to start by getting my self organized.  You can not have a productive purposed life with clutter every where.  This will be hard at first.  I have gotten very disorganized over the years.  I guess it is due to the drama in my life.  You start to show signs outward when you are conflicted outside.

I need to get back into a routine.  I need to get my physical self back under control as well.  I lost weight and was very happy, then all hell broke loose and I have gained almost 10 pounds back.   It is more like I am just getting by in life waiting for things to happen.  It is time to start making things happen and do my best each and every day.

So first on the agenda is to get organized and get moving.  Having disorder and no movement at all is useless.  I can't get forward if I am not moving in the first place.

Having Second Thoughts

So after a year and a half of being miserable at my job and the straw that broke the camels back falling down I decided it was time to go to a different building even if it meant going at the same pay rate and all.  I just wanted out.  I finally had a nervous break down at work, fifteen minutes later I found myself applying for a position at another location that was exactly the same as mine just not where I was.

I got an interview with them and I was still leery at the time about making the move but still kept going with it.  Everyone said it would be great for me.  Less stress and closer to home.   The schedule means no Saturdays unless I want to so it sounded perfect for me.  Then I got the call from HR and I was offered the job.  I was soooo exited because I had finally gotten out.

Then my friend from my branch called and said it looked like my managers feelings were crushed when she got the news.  This however is the same manager who has been so mean and finally caused the break down.  How could it be that she even cared if I left or not.  She was always making comments that made me feel not good enough.  She acted like I was the worst employee there.  It was insane how many mean things she said and did to me.  Even my other coworkers started making comments to me about how they were beginning to see how she treated me.

So why is it now that I accepted the position I am feeling guilty.  Why do I have such a huge regret over this situation.  I really didn't want to leave my branch I like it there because of the people I have met and things like that.  I would love to stay but things will never change for me there.  I will always be the punching bag for them.  I even cried about it yesterday because I am worried I made the wrong choice.  I mean had it not been for that Friday break down I would never have even applied for it, but at that moment I knew I had to get out as well.

No I am transferring and there is no looking back.  I can only hope that I am happier in my new surroundings and that I made the right decision.  Everyone says I did but I certainly do not feel like ti right now.   I guess only time will tell in this situation and I will have to make the best of it.

When The Ex Comes Calling

So I found out my mom was in the hospital the other day but I was trying to stay calm because my dad said it wasn't to serious.  I went through my day the next day at work and just tried to keep my mind off the problem.  Then I saw a number on my phone and there was a voice mail so I checked I checked and was quite shocked at who it was.

It turned out to be my first ex-husband!  Now I really don't talk to him.  Our relationship went pretty much like this last one.  In the end he cheated but he is my daughters biological Father so he left me pregnant with not much to my name.  I have since gotten over the situation since I can't change it.  We have talked before so whatever.  Some how this voice mail seemed different though.  It just said call me at this number.  Well I thought about it and I did. 

When he answered he asked how I was.  I said fine then he said he had been itching so he knew he should call.  What he was talking about is that we got matching tattoos before our wedding but they are in Japanese so they just look like another tattoo.  After the divorce mine would occasionally itch an swell and with out fail every time it did he was up to something.  So I finally told him about it, so I guess he felt his acting up and decided to call.  Weird timing so I told him he was right and explained my mom.

We talked for 2 hours that night and I really let him have it for the things he put me through.  We talked about all kinds of different things.  We talked about my up coming divorce and I yelled a lot about things.  He told me things he had heard years ago and we just had it out and went through a lot of emotions.  At one point he mentioned me being mad at him and still hating him. Well I corrected him.

You see the truth is that I don't care any more.  I forgave him and stopped being mad about the marriage a long time ago.  I explained to him what I was mad about was his choices.  He choice to cheat, to leave, and to not be part of my daughters life.  That made me angry but it was also his problem.  He made those choices and what happened was neither here nor there.  I was long over the cheating and being left behind and my daughter doesn't even want to know his name so it is what it is but he made crappy choices.

We had a grudge match conversation.  We went at each other about all the faults that happened, who's fault it was that things ended, who cheated on who.  You name it we probably covered it.  I even started calling him names by the alphabet.  it was a very intense conversation.  In the end we said good night and talk later.

We talked another 2 hours yesterday.  It was kind of healing talking to him.  We never had a real closer to our marriage.  We lived in different states when the whole thing happened so it never really got resolved.  When he did move back it was more of a competition to prove who had moved on better.  Which I ultimately won that  one so that was satisfying.  We sat another 2 hours going through the same routine as the night before.  This time though I really let him have it.  Let him know what him acting like he did caused.

I wanted him to know.  He went through the routine of supposedly I cheated on him and whatever.  Finally I said your right.  Whoever you think I cheated with your right.  I did from now on who ever you mention that's who I will agree with.  I told him that now he can tell people I did it so he could feel justified about what he did.  Now he could blame me for every thing and the dismantling of our marriage.  This really got to him.  He didn't like it at all.  I simply took his ammunition from him.  That was good too.  It made him have to think about his actions for once.  After I finally just said your right it was my fault.  I gave up everything for you and did everything for you but in the end it was my fault that our family broke down.  I told him make sure he told people this too.  I no longer wanted people to think he had done me wrong.  Once he couldn't really make me mad about it, it kinda forced him to really look at the situation.  We talked a little longer then said goodnight. 

I text him tonight but he really can't talk to me.  I took away all the things he had over me to make me so angry these last 13 years.  The only thing he was left with was the cold truth and that hurt a little.  He always mentions that he knows he screwed up but he always says I had a big part in it and would never really let it go so when I finally said call me what you want and think what you want.  He no longer had control to make me angry of accusing me of random things.  I hope next time we talk that we can have and actual conversation with out dragging things out but who knows.  Only time will tell.  I just hope it doesn't take another 13 years for us to have a civil conversation

New Year New Day New Ideas

So it is 2014 and I am excited.  I have so many things to get done this year.  I have a million ideas to do my business.  A ton of new ideas for how to make products for my daughters business.  I am determined to make this a great year regardless of how 2013 went, it is over and fresh starts are possible. 

My divorce happens in March and while I am sad I am also relieved.  I no longer have to worry about it.  I can just focus on mine and my daughters futures and make our lives as awesome as possible.  What are you putting behind you this year? Are there reasons you are happy that 2013 is over? 

I know I am going to be really busy this year but it is all going to be good stuff.  I also plan on getting my daughter back into dance so I will have to get ready for all the practices and recitals and maybe competitions if she is still good enough for the dance team.  Then work on business stuff as much as possible.  I have also found a survey company that makes it easier to earn money.  I have only been doing it a couple days now and almost have enough points to cash in for $10.  You only need to earn 100 points for that and there surveys generally pay decent points for each one.  I am using another one that is taking a little longer but still better than when I tried it last time.  So at say $10 a month I could earn a minimum of an extra $120 this year so I can put that toward my $5000 goal or use that specifically for Christmas.  You can turn it in for other stuff that is decent but I am just more interested in the money.

Well I just wanted to drop in with a quick chat tonight.  I go back to work in the morning and I only have about 6.5 hours to sleep.  It is going to be a great year so lets get together and make it fun

New Year approaching, Proceed with Caution

So this year is almost over and that means a whole new start again.  This year has definitely a struggle so I am ready for a new beginning.  On the other hand I worry that I will bring this year to the next and that is not a good thing at all.  I want to start 2014 clean. 

My divorce will be official in March so i can finally move past all this drama.  My finances seem to be looking up so that is very relieving and mine and my daughters health have improved so I am super happy.  I am excited by all the blessing we are receiving.  It is hard to get too excited since I have been at this point before and then got sent all the way back to the start again.

I am very proud of myself for hanging in there and keeping my faith even when everything looked like it was over.  I still have a ways to go to be back where I was but the fact that I am on the right path is very exciting.  I feel that 2014 will be the year of recovery.  I see things getting better and better from here.

I encourage anyone who has been struggling to really reach deep.  Know that if you keep strong and keep your faith you can get through what ever is holding you back.  It may take some time but do not give up.  There is a bright side that will come through.  Please stay positive and just be true to yourself and it will work out.

Make sure that you pay real close attention to the people in your life too.  They can have a real impact on what happens.  Make sure you are trusting the right people and staying for away from the wrong ones.  Having positive people in your life that help you reach your goals can get you far.  You need people that will help you when you have nothing.

It is going to be a great 2014 just make sure you pay attention to what you are doing and don't give up.  Stay blessed and you will be impressed with how far you go.

Weird Kind of Day

This is going to be a quick post for today.  Nothing went as planned and I have so much to still get done.  I woke up and things started good, then it got a little awkward.  Then work was weird as well so that really threw me for a loop.  The rest of the day did not go as planned either so nothing worked out the way it was supposed to.  I just got home like 3 hours after I was supposed to and I still do not have my divorce papers and I wanted them to be ready to file  tomorrow.

So it is the big day I finally start the process and I am not really sure how I feel now.  I was sad and then I was ready and now I just want to get it started so I can be done with it.  I have been married to him for the last eight years and never thought it would end.  Even when he told me he had gotten a girlfriend when I thought we were going to be making things stronger.  That my friend was a big shock.  You think that you are going to make your marriage stronger and he tells you he has a girlfriend and does not want to be with you like that anymore.  It was really hard.  Especially now that he puts his girlfriend before you and your child. 

He only seems to want to hang out with her when he wants and is very inflexible about weekends.  I am just beyond the whole situation.  I just want to get it done so that I can move forward with what is best for me and my daughter.  It in no way will be easy but after a year I feel it is time.  I really tried to work on it but he is unwilling so time to go.

On Some Kind Of Weird High

So after so much that has happened I have actually been in a pretty good mood.   I saw a person that I used to go to school with and I have been talking to them for like 2 days.  It has been kinda great to just talk to someone about stuff.  Of course because of spending so much time texting I have not gotten much else done which is not a good thing at all.  I am behind again on everything it is really hard to be behind this much.  I really need to get focused because I will be starting school again in a few weeks, plus I have a birthday to plan.  Then there is the drama

I posted before about me and my husband and how we were not getting along.  I have decided to officially end it by filing paper work.  It will be sad and my daughter is not happy but we have not lived together in over a year and he doesn't even talk to me anymore so I think I am better off just moving forward and trying to be happy.  I really hate the idea I miss him a lot but he has shown no interest in even talking to me about our child so I think it is best that I just go on.

So I really don't know how to deal with it for my child.  She is soo devastated about the idea but I can't just sit here waiting for him to change his mind for years.  I need to do stuff that is going to make me happy so that I can make my daughter happy.  I truly hate that we could not make it work out but I guess it is better to find out now than when we are elderly and have spent our whole life's together and then don't know what to do.

 Well I am getting off of here to get some sleep and hopefully clean my house tomorrow.  Have a great day