So I made a post on Facebook today. It was about how I feel in my life. I am about to be honest. I have never felt like I fit in anywhere. I have never been a fan of myself. I struggle with mood issues because of these feelings. I have struggled with getting through the day because I do not even know why I am trying. I wrote how I have always been the odd one and that it was just hard when you do not feel like you belong anywhere. Now back to the story.
I made the post about how I am the odd person in all situations and that I just do not feel like I have a place. That things were difficult and I am just at odds today about this feeling that I had since I can remember. I ended up getting a call about the post. They decided to call because they felt offended by my post because they decided to take it personally. Suddenly a post I made about me and how I don't belong made them unhappy because they could not understand where I was coming from.
Why can't I just be not ok. Why does what I say about my feelings suddenly become about their things. Why was it that when I feel really bad about something that has gone on in my life for a long time, a person decides this is the best time to tell me that I am making them feel bad and it is offending them that I would say this. Like yes I control my emotions based on how it might make people feel. Oh wait!
All my life I have thought about how what I say or do will trigger people. I always worry that I will get a call about what I say. I keep a lot to myself because I do not want to explain to people why it has nothing to do with them and that they should not be upset because my mental health issues are not their problem. I mean how am I supposed to process all my feelings if I can never talk about them because other will be offended and it will ruin their whole life and how they view it.
Sorry about the big feelings today but I was already having a big feelings day and then this just made it worse.
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