Just A Little Chat

Just wanted to come in and say hi, and I hope you are doing well today.  As we continue to stay in lockdown to kick this virus, I feel it is important that we have a place to chat.  I want to be encouraging in this time.  We are going to make it.

We have been through situations before and as whole world we have made it.  Yes there are people dying I know that, and I am not trying to lesson the tragedy in any way.  I just want us to remember that we have been through rough times as a unit and we will do it again.

The world is one place and while countries may be divided on many things, the one thing we can agree on is we have come through tough times together over and over and we can do it again.  I do not care where you are from, I want to be encouraging to you.

If you need someone to talk to, please reach out.  Comment on this post, on Facebook reach out on my page Your Happiness Ahead, send a message on messenger or post a comment.  Please do not sti alone and be sad.  I will talk it out with you.

We are all in this together.  I do not want anyone to be sitting at home depressed feeling like no one is there.  You are important and I am here.  We will beat lockdown together.

We Are All Struggling

I know there are many opinions out there about what is happening.  The truth is we are all being affected by this.  It isn't just a few people it is the whole world.  Rich and poor it doesn't matter it is hitting us all so we need to act accordingly.

I have had to stay off of Facebook other than my business pages because I couldn't take the drama anymore.  I started becoming a very angry person. Over the years I have learned that some times it is better to just not say what I think.  For two days I was not able to contain my mouth.  I was constantly snapping and feeling the need to react to what people were saying.  It was eat5ing me up inside.

The negativity was eating at me.  I now have physical pain from just how angry I was getting.  People were basically bashing people for things out of their control, no empathy could be found and people that are not even in this area were commenting on what was and was not true even though I was part of it and knew what I had seen, they still called me a liar and said I had not idea what I was talking about.  I snapped for sure.

That is not who I want to be.  I want to have peace and positive things in my life.  I do not want the negativity to creep back into my life.  I have been slowly working to make my life and future more positive.

My point here is we are all going through stuff right now but we can choose how we feel and how we behave.  We can not control how others behave but we can control how we react.  If the situation is not taking you in the direction you are seeking then change the situation.  Do not engage in things that do not bring you joy.

Stay happy and healthy and we can do this lockdown together

Quality-V-Quantity During the Holidays.

Hey there!!! With Christmas just round the corner I wanted to share something.  Do not forget what the holidays are all about.  Sue it is nice to get a gift from people, but the important part is the time spent.

Especially with kids.  Most of the time people can not remember what they got for Christmas when they were little but what they do remember is the people.  They remember that they always spent time with their loved ones.  That family was there.

Don't have a big family or really any family?  Again it is about quality.  Spend time with your favorite people.  Make the time count with the people that matter the most to you.  That is the big picture here.  For me and my daughter it is time with my parents.  Unfortunately since my Mom passed this year it is a little harder but that means the time with my Dad is even that much more special.

No matter who is there or what you do I sincerely hope you have a blessed and happy Holiday season.

Thanks for visiting talk to you soon.

How the Year began

So in previous posts I said I would explain a lot of other things, so here is the start of that.  This post will be hard so I will tell you how this year started and then I will highlight other events in another post so I can get through this one without losing it completely.

This year started out with my Dad letting me know my Mom had not been feeling well so she decided to go to the hospital.  That was nothing new as my Mom had been in the hospital many times before because she had pneumonia a lot and some times it got bad and she had COPD so she needed help sometime.  I asked him did I need to come and was assured that it was just a normal trip and things would be ok.  This went on for a few weeks and my Dad got the same answer from Dr.s and relayed it to me saying there was nothing serious happening the infections was just pretty bad and she had developed a UTI so it would just be a little longer .

At this point you are probably thinking why would I not have gone and visited my mom in the hospital after he being there for a few weeks.  Well as you may remember my daughter has seizures.  Things have been out of control and the hospital was over an hour drive and I also had to work to support me and my daughter.  I felt bad but my Dad reassured me that my Mom was ok and a couple times I even chatted with her on the phone so that made me feel a little more comfortable in the situation.


One day I get a call from my Dad and he is crying so I panic.  Finally he tells me he got a call and we have to make a decision. I am freaking out because who wants to do that.  So I go get my cousin from work down the road I smoke a million cigarettes (I know not the best idea) while we get my aunt and daughter.  My cousin goes back to work while me, my daughter , and aunt drive two hours to my Dad who is at his house in shock.  More family comes as we talk about what to do.  We decide that me and my Dad and daughter will go in the morning to talk to the Dr and get more information.

That was a complete disaster.  We get told different stories and that we should not have received that call.  Things were not good but they didn't think we were to that point yet.  My Mom was responding to us being there and even gave my Dad a kiss.  We were Pissed to say the least that they put us through that.  Family from out of state was on their way because we thought my Mom was about to die.  We visited with her and everyone and after a few days were assured that they were not convinced she was going to die soon.  We all go home and for two weeks my Dad tells us how things are getting better she is still responding to him and the Dr's are hopeful.  Things feel good.

Then it is February and my Mom's birthday is here and we are excited because she made it another year and things seemed good.  My Dad went to visit her and spent most of the day with her and said she was tired but doing good for her situation.  It was getting late so he told her that he was going back to the hotel room and would be back in the morning.  I had talked to him and her and we planned for us to come visit later because we wanted him to have the weekend with her.  It was about 11:00 pm on February 16, 2017 and I had just crawled into bed.  My phone lit up and it was my Dad, as I answered I grabbed my daughter and started getting out of bed and putting my shoes on.  What happened next has shattered our whole world.

They had called my Dad and said she didn't have much time.  Before I even hung up we were almost in the car and time was not real.  I had to get gas and bought more smoke (again I know, bad idea).  My daughter got a hold of people as I drove for what seemed like forever and got pulled over twice for a broken taillight.  We arrived and the strongest woman I know, the woman who taught me to be strong and be a mom was so weak.  She barely responded but tried to hang on.  We prayed, we brought in a priest for final rights, we told her to hold on, we cried.

On February 17, 2017 at 2:30 AM we had to make the hardest decision we have ever made.  After 69 years on Earth, 38 years of marriage, 38 years of being my Mom, I was the reason they got married :),being my daughters Grandma for 16 years, we had to say goodbye.  It was the worst day of my life.  Her body had shut down, while her brain was working.  It was so unreal.  This year has been so hard.  My Mom was the person I would call when I needed advice.  She would tell me straight, she would never tell me what I wanted to hear, but rather what I needed to hear, good or bad.  It was the end of the world that we knew and the next week following her death was beyond stressful.

This has been long but I promised. So that is how my year started and it is still not getting much better but that is for another post.  I need to get myself back together.  Thank you for reading.  Unitl next time.

I'm BACK!!!!!!!!

Hey guys!! I know it has been a long time since I have written.  SOOOO much has happened it is crazy.  I may not post every day to start but I want to get back to doing my blog and reaching out to people.  I have a new Facebook page and lots of thing to share bad and good.  Stay tuned because I am ready for my come back and to start sharing my successes again.  Talk soon.

Just Talking

So things have been a little crazy.  I have my kidney stone and I am trying to avoid surgical removal but my Dr. is starting to push it.  My daughter was very sick over the weekend and then missed three days of school with it being so close to the end.   I am working with her to try to get her grades to where they should be but it is hard when she is sick a lot between migraines, seizures, and regular illness.  Her grades are not that bad all things considered but I know she wants to do better, and I know she absolutely can.

At least I am home right now so that has been extra helpful during this time.  I am really working on ideas to stay home permanently.  I have already researched insurance for individuals so that I know what it will cost each month to insure us on my own.  Now it is time to start putting my skills to use and seeing what  can pull off.  There are plenty of people who have figured out how to make money at home and still pay bills and such.  If they can I am determined to figure it out for myself.

My next post will have some more helpful hints on how to earn some extra money.  I have been doing very well.  I just bought my daughter some more of her medical stuff she needed and didn't pay a cent and her party is pretty much covered other than the actual day of and a hoop skirt for the dress. I have actually never had this much money in my accounts at once other than tax time.  I have been doing my best to save money as much as I can.  I did spend some more money on a couple of my credit cards but it was for a gift and my house, but I have only used them about 3 times in the month and a half that I have been home.

Our journey together is one that will take some time but in the end will be worth it.  If you have any success stories I would love to hear them.

Sorry I went Missing

I just wanted to say sorry for not posting in so long.  I need to get back to our debt reduction series.  I hope you are doing well and have been able to save some money and pay down some bills.  I have so much to go over that has happened lately.

To start I am working at home. With my daughter's health and her needing me more I have taken the step of being home more often now.  It has been a little challenging getting started but by the grace of God I know I am going to figure this out.  It will get easier as I get more used to the idea.

I am not losing weight like I had hoped and I have been in a lot of pain so I am back to the Dr. next week.  I know I need to get this figured out but I a a little worried about what they are going to say is wrong.  Hopefully it is not something that is going to be drastic to fix.

Well those are the big changes as of right now.  I am still saving and paying bills although my income is not as big right now but I know it will pick up in the future.  I just have to get the hang of what I am doing but a lot of my friends are working from home now so I know I can do it if they can.  I will be back soon.

We are on this journey together and I happy you are here.

When Does High School Drama Stop!

When we leave high school we think that all of that drama will be behind us.  We are having to leave all the childish things behind and start new.  It is a time that we can be happy that we have made it through those crazy years.  Or is it?

I just had an experience yesterday that made me feel like I was in high school all over again.  I had a friend send me a message claiming that his ex had just called him telling him that I had told people he was my now gone babies father.  Her and I no longer speak and they are separated and he lives in a totally different state.  She is the one who wanted him to leave so please tell me why she is causing drama?  She has so little meaning in my life that she is not even aware yet that I am no longer pregnant.  She claims it was some one who has been a friend for 15 years.  Not sure if she meant mine or hers but the only people that we have both known that long are people that I no longer even talk to.

My thing is if she wanted him gone and has possibly even moved on then why is she constantly calling him trying to start fights?  Why is she using me to try to start these fights and make my life harder?  I almost had a complete break down because when he asked me about it, it brought back those feelings of losing my child all over again.  

She clearly is out to hurt people.  It is a totally childish thing to do.  Especially for a person who is almost 30.  Like do we not have grown up things to do, like maybe be a parent and mind your own business.  If you don't want to friends any more fine I am a big girl I have my own life.  If you don't want to be married that is your business but don't try making others miserable just because you are apparently not happy about some thing.  We Are Not In High School!!!!!

Kids Growing UP

So the girl is in her freshman year of high school.  It has not started out so well but I know she has to grow up a little some time.  It is hard but I am trying my best.  This week she has her first homecoming dance.  Now she has been to other dances but nothing so important like this.  This is a big first step.

She originally even had a date to go but unfortunately he can't go now for what ever reason.  Honestly I am ok with that to tell the truth.  I was not ready for her to have a date too.  She seems to be ok and says she is going no matter what.  I am proud of her for stepping out of her comfort zone as well.  This is something that before she would not have been so willing to do.  All the other dances I had to be a chaperon so she would go.  This time she was the one who made the decision and knows I won't be there but she can call me if she needs me and I will be right there.

I think that is an important factor in her feeling confident in this new journey.  I have made sure she knows that no matter what she can count on me,  I always tell  her even if it is something that might make me mad she can always call me for help.  I tell her I might be mad but we can talk about it and I would rather her tell me the truth then lie and end up in danger.  She knows that even if she wants to date or drinks at a party she can talk to me and we will get through whatever together.  I want her to know that I am there.  Even if she makes a bad choice I would rather her come to me for help than get hurt.

No Card No Problem

So I explained to you how I have ditched my Debit Card and use cash now.  I do have a couple credit cards for emergency purposes.  I would just like to clarify that.  I love using cash for many reasons.  I can see it go.  I know exactly what is happening to it.  When it is gone it is gone so there is no over drafting my account on accident.  As stated in my article about how to save money we don't have it helps me build up my savings with out even noticing it is gone.

When you use your debit card you just swipe but you do not really have that connection of giving it away.  When you have to physically give it to some one it clicks a little different and when they hand a little less back than what you gave them, that is a connection.  If you are out shopping and only have a certain amount of cash on hand to spend you know you can not go over.  There is no picking up a few extras because you know you don't have it.

Another question is now how do I pay my bill?  Well there is the old fashioned method  Write a check and mail it to whom eve you need to pay.  This does require buying stamps and with a few companies envelopes.  If you have a Dollar Tree near you this  is a great place to save money on stuff like that.  Then there is the newer method.  It is electronic withdrawal which the company can set up over the phone or you can set up an account with the company and make a payment each month or  there is .online banking.  I still have a checking account for certain things so I use my online bill pay.  My money get directly deposited in my account on pay day and then I go into my bill payer and tell the bank when I want the money o be sent to the company I am paying.  It is super easy and convenient.  You can even make payments to people so if you need to pay back "Aunt Jackie" who you only see like maybe once a month you can put her in your bill pay and then she will get a check right from the bank.

You have many options to help deal with this new adventure.  It does take some time and a little effort but if you stick with it you will find that you will see progress that is actually getting you some where.  It didn't happen over night but slowly I have figured out what is working and I am getting there.  Next I think we will talk about how to tackle paying bills in general especially if you get paid less than weekly.  Thanks for reading and lets get saving.

Where Is Everyone??????

So I am writing these posts hoping I am helping some one out there.  I would really like to hear any feed back you have.  If you want me to change anything or add something.  I really hope that something I have said is useful to any one out there.  I have more helpful tips to share but I want to make sure that people are actually seeing them.

If you have questions or even some input of your own I would love to hear from you.  I would love the interaction from you guys.  I am doing this to help you so what ever you want to add please feel free.  Just like in school, no question is too small.  You may have the same question as some else and if we share we can all help each other and make our lives a little better.

Follow up

So this week was supposed to start a series on saving money and slowly getting ahead.  Unfortunately I was not able to start this week due to some personal issues.  I will be starting the series on Monday.  I really hope to have you here so we can go through this journey together.  I really am excited to help you all succeed in your financial future.  Please come back Monday and bring your positive attitude because we are going to make some changes.  This will be the beginning of financial freedom.  I hope to see you here.

Good Morning

Good Morning.  How is your morning going?  This morning is going pretty well.  I woke up in a good mood and my daughter got up happy. 

This is not the normal in our home usually there are about 3 taps to the snooze.  Then we go through the whining about not wanting to get up.  Then there is the pretending to get up but not really moving.  Then finally we are out of bed and complaining about everything . My daughter has ADHD so she gets distracted easy.  Then we finally start really getting ready like 20 minutes before we have to leave. 

This is pretty much a daily thing but the last two days we have not done the snooze.  We got up in a good mood and got ready early.  It was nice.  I made sure that we were following schedule and remained calm all morning.  The not arguing about getting ready and waking up nicely has really seemed to help.  Guiding her rather than fighting has made a big difference.

So if you have a stubborn child try working with them instead of fighting them.  They may just surprise you and start working with you also.

An Update Post

So in this post I am just going to give some updates on some stuff that I have talked about before.  I feel that I should from time to time let you know how things are going with some of the things that I have posted in the past.  If ever you want to know how something is going though feel free to ask.  I will gladly tell you how things are going.

So as for the update on my exercise stuff.  Well I have not been being very diligent but I am trying to get better.  I have gotten food for work so I am less tempted to go out to eat for lunch.  I have been trying to stand more than sit at work and some times I just walk behind the line to get some extra activity.  I think I got a small catch up on working out though since I have been shoveling the driveway and pushing my car out of being stuck.

With that an update on our severe weather we had.  Well just as they got everything all cleaned up and people got power back we started getting snow.  Now everyone is snowed in and missing work.  I started at 720 am and just got my truck unstuck at 1.  I have no idea if I will be able to get be able to get there tomorrow either so I am hoping that it will work out or I have to use PTO days to cover it.  The other problem is I am soooo sore and tired from all the work I have already done.  I don't know if I can shovel one more scoop.

Then there is the scoop on my divorce.  It is exactly 2 months from today.  I am kinda nervous I feel unprepared for some reason.  I just want to move on at this point and get going forward with mine and my daughters life.  Things are just to crazy with always having to always worry about what is going on with this stuff.  Once it is final then that is that.  My daughter still does not enjoy going over there but I am working on it either he will give her the attention she needs  or he will learn she is mad and give up on trying to force her.

Then we get to the other divorce info.  So Me and my first ex have test a few time since chatting but that is about it.  We haven't really talked about anything important in those texts though.  Just a few hope you are doing good, I am tired talk later, that type of stuff. I text him back briefly today but that is about it.  At least we had a good chat the other days and I got some stuff off my chest that I had never been able to talk to him about so that was nice.  I guess we will see if there is any future conversation.

Well I am going to go work on shoveling my car out some more and hope I can get to work tomorrow.  I hope you are safe and warm where you are at. Until next time.

When The Ex Comes Calling

So I found out my mom was in the hospital the other day but I was trying to stay calm because my dad said it wasn't to serious.  I went through my day the next day at work and just tried to keep my mind off the problem.  Then I saw a number on my phone and there was a voice mail so I checked I checked and was quite shocked at who it was.

It turned out to be my first ex-husband!  Now I really don't talk to him.  Our relationship went pretty much like this last one.  In the end he cheated but he is my daughters biological Father so he left me pregnant with not much to my name.  I have since gotten over the situation since I can't change it.  We have talked before so whatever.  Some how this voice mail seemed different though.  It just said call me at this number.  Well I thought about it and I did. 

When he answered he asked how I was.  I said fine then he said he had been itching so he knew he should call.  What he was talking about is that we got matching tattoos before our wedding but they are in Japanese so they just look like another tattoo.  After the divorce mine would occasionally itch an swell and with out fail every time it did he was up to something.  So I finally told him about it, so I guess he felt his acting up and decided to call.  Weird timing so I told him he was right and explained my mom.

We talked for 2 hours that night and I really let him have it for the things he put me through.  We talked about all kinds of different things.  We talked about my up coming divorce and I yelled a lot about things.  He told me things he had heard years ago and we just had it out and went through a lot of emotions.  At one point he mentioned me being mad at him and still hating him. Well I corrected him.

You see the truth is that I don't care any more.  I forgave him and stopped being mad about the marriage a long time ago.  I explained to him what I was mad about was his choices.  He choice to cheat, to leave, and to not be part of my daughters life.  That made me angry but it was also his problem.  He made those choices and what happened was neither here nor there.  I was long over the cheating and being left behind and my daughter doesn't even want to know his name so it is what it is but he made crappy choices.

We had a grudge match conversation.  We went at each other about all the faults that happened, who's fault it was that things ended, who cheated on who.  You name it we probably covered it.  I even started calling him names by the alphabet.  it was a very intense conversation.  In the end we said good night and talk later.

We talked another 2 hours yesterday.  It was kind of healing talking to him.  We never had a real closer to our marriage.  We lived in different states when the whole thing happened so it never really got resolved.  When he did move back it was more of a competition to prove who had moved on better.  Which I ultimately won that  one so that was satisfying.  We sat another 2 hours going through the same routine as the night before.  This time though I really let him have it.  Let him know what him acting like he did caused.

I wanted him to know.  He went through the routine of supposedly I cheated on him and whatever.  Finally I said your right.  Whoever you think I cheated with your right.  I did from now on who ever you mention that's who I will agree with.  I told him that now he can tell people I did it so he could feel justified about what he did.  Now he could blame me for every thing and the dismantling of our marriage.  This really got to him.  He didn't like it at all.  I simply took his ammunition from him.  That was good too.  It made him have to think about his actions for once.  After I finally just said your right it was my fault.  I gave up everything for you and did everything for you but in the end it was my fault that our family broke down.  I told him make sure he told people this too.  I no longer wanted people to think he had done me wrong.  Once he couldn't really make me mad about it, it kinda forced him to really look at the situation.  We talked a little longer then said goodnight. 

I text him tonight but he really can't talk to me.  I took away all the things he had over me to make me so angry these last 13 years.  The only thing he was left with was the cold truth and that hurt a little.  He always mentions that he knows he screwed up but he always says I had a big part in it and would never really let it go so when I finally said call me what you want and think what you want.  He no longer had control to make me angry of accusing me of random things.  I hope next time we talk that we can have and actual conversation with out dragging things out but who knows.  Only time will tell.  I just hope it doesn't take another 13 years for us to have a civil conversation

Emotionally Out Of Control

Today I had a break down emotionally.  It seemed like anything that could break me down was happening.  I literally cried the entire time I was in church service.  It was awful.  Now I am completely drained.  I have really lost all energy today.  Things were just out of control.  I have so much going on and I am worried about so much that I finally burst.

 I did talk to a member of the prayer team today and it helped a little.  I believe in God.  I have no doubt that he is out there and he does work miracles. That I do not question at all.  I have problems having faith in myself.  A lot of the time I feel like it is me that is broken and I am incapable of receiving all that is out there.  I know that this is not what God intends but I still can not grasp it in me.  I pray I tithe and I go to church but I still feel broken.

By no means am I trying to lead people one way or the other.  While I hope that everyone would find their path in Christ I also know that everyone has free will.  I am not hear to force my beliefs or UN-beliefs.  I am just here talking about how I have been feeling.  There might be some one out there with the same odd feeling and it might help to know they are not alone.  They may have questions also that can be answered.  I am hoping that people will start getting engaged and commenting on my posts so that everyone can find help with things that may be on their mind.

I have a lot to do and I am going to have to make a to-do list to get it all done but bit by bit I hope to get everything done.   Sadly I am also starting my divorce so it is a sad time all around any way.  On that note I am signing off for the night so that I can get some other work done.  Have a great day.