Long Day Over

Today was a long day.  One coworker has been out of town for family issues and another one is only part time.  That left 2 of us to run the office even though we had enough patients to fill the whole schedule.  It is exhausting to say the least.

I got extra tired part way through the day.  It was a challenge  getting the work done to say the least.  I wish there was two of me sometimes.  One to go to work and one to stay home and get this stuff done.  I am not a fan of house work at all.  It is not a secret either.  If I currently had the money I would sooo pay someone to clean for me.

I think if you can afford extra help go for it.  Just because you get some help doesn't mean anything bad about you.  It means you were smart enough to know your limits but still get stuff done.  Getting stuff done means you know what's up in life.  Especially if you h ave any type of health issues.  You really deserve to relax and get some help.  Plus if that is how someone makes their money then you are making it so they can buy groceries or gas for their car so definitely a good thing.

So this post was not planned and went a little here and there but that is kind of the idea of this blog.  I just write about what comes to mind and hope it helps some one else maneuver their day, or just feel better about the choices they make.

Till next time.

Sorry For the absence Here is an update

So sorry I have not written in a long time.  So much has happened lately.  I am going to try to keep it short tonight but give you as much of the info as possible.

So on the weight loss.  That is going nowhere.  I have not been doing anything so I am still at the same weight as when I started my plan.  I know I will get there it is just going to take sometime to get there.

As for my marriage.  It officially ended on March 6th 2014.  It was not pretty that day and I was called a lot of names.  In the end I feel I did what was right for my daughter so I just have to move on and remember I can only do my best.

As for my job well I switched branches and I am doing good there. I have a lot to learn but they are very supportive so it makes it nicer.  I got a raise this year so I am happy about that.  I worked really hard to get it so I wish it was more but it is a start.

Things are a little crazy but I am really trying to stay positive and just move forward.  I am hoping by this time next year I will be much better off and closer to my goals.

That is all for tonight.  Have a great game.

So Many Decisions But Not Enough Time

So I have a lot of things I need to make decisions on right now and the deadlines are quickly approaching.  I have no idea what I want to do about them either.  I have been praying over each of them but still I am not sure what the best decision for each situation is. 

They are all very important decisions that will impact my future so I do not want to make the wrong choice for any of them.  If I make the wrong decision it impacts other things and I really don't want to mess those things up.

I have to decide whether or not to keep my house or just let it go.  I would love to keep it and rent it out again it was something I bought on my own and I am very proud of that but at the same time I do not want it to eat all my money.  I am working on paying off bills and saving up some money and this could affect that.  I am not sure that I can keep the house and be able to save money at the same time.  I really want to get back on my feet and stop having to ask for help all the time.  On the other hand I don't want to give up my home either.  It is a really hard choice to make at this point.

I also have to make the decision of if I really want to switch branches.  After today I am back to wanting to leave the branch I am at.  I already have the new position but I can change my mind at any time before I actually start there.  I struggled over the weekend about what to do and have continued to pray.  Somethings that happened that might seem petty to some really made me feel like leaving is the right thing.  Then I wait on some of the customers and realize I like them and I would love to stay and continue to work for them.  It is really hard to make these choices.

Then there is whether or not I should get a lawyer to help me finalize my divorce.  I have done most of it myself so this is to just get it done and help with the custody concerns.  I am having a lot of problems with my about to be ex doing what he should be as a parent but I do what I am supposed to and it is ridiculous that he can just lie and do what ever he wants and my daughter continues to suffer because his selfishness.  I am very much over the situation but at the same time it will be very costly to pay for this lawyer which goes back to the trying to save money part.

It is a lot to figure out and basically I have to decide by the end of this week so that puts even more pressure on me since it is half way over.  I need to figure it out quick though or all the decisions will be made for me and I will just have to live with whatever happens.

Having Second Thoughts

So after a year and a half of being miserable at my job and the straw that broke the camels back falling down I decided it was time to go to a different building even if it meant going at the same pay rate and all.  I just wanted out.  I finally had a nervous break down at work, fifteen minutes later I found myself applying for a position at another location that was exactly the same as mine just not where I was.

I got an interview with them and I was still leery at the time about making the move but still kept going with it.  Everyone said it would be great for me.  Less stress and closer to home.   The schedule means no Saturdays unless I want to so it sounded perfect for me.  Then I got the call from HR and I was offered the job.  I was soooo exited because I had finally gotten out.

Then my friend from my branch called and said it looked like my managers feelings were crushed when she got the news.  This however is the same manager who has been so mean and finally caused the break down.  How could it be that she even cared if I left or not.  She was always making comments that made me feel not good enough.  She acted like I was the worst employee there.  It was insane how many mean things she said and did to me.  Even my other coworkers started making comments to me about how they were beginning to see how she treated me.

So why is it now that I accepted the position I am feeling guilty.  Why do I have such a huge regret over this situation.  I really didn't want to leave my branch I like it there because of the people I have met and things like that.  I would love to stay but things will never change for me there.  I will always be the punching bag for them.  I even cried about it yesterday because I am worried I made the wrong choice.  I mean had it not been for that Friday break down I would never have even applied for it, but at that moment I knew I had to get out as well.

No I am transferring and there is no looking back.  I can only hope that I am happier in my new surroundings and that I made the right decision.  Everyone says I did but I certainly do not feel like ti right now.   I guess only time will tell in this situation and I will have to make the best of it.

Starting Again

So I was doing really well with the blog and then got distracted but I see many people are still looking.  I am going to get back to it and we will see where it goes from there.  I have been up to so much this year.  I have been just so busy and working on so many different things. 

This year I started out separated and not feeling to happy.  I am now only three months away from my divorce and doing ok.  I have gone back to church more often and I am feeling much better in my faith now.  I am learning a better way to pray and to trust God even more.  It is nice when you can just feel great about things. 

 My job not so awesome but I have one and right now that is a bonus.  I can kinda pay my bills and I can feed my daughter and myself so that feels good.  My car is almost paid off so that will be nice when I am done with that.  It will be extra money to put toward some other bills.  I have been turned down for full time three different time so that has been a little crushing for me.  I applied for another one but not getting too excited about it because I have a feeling I am not getting which has a lot to do with the position itself and a little with my employers.

I have reduced my medications drastically which has been a very nice change for me.  My daughter has been having less seizures which is very exciting and her grades are up from last year along with her reading skills improving this year.  This is something she has struggled with for years.  She also got nominated for the new Leadership club at school.  She makes me so proud.

I have also been working on getting my business up and going strong.   I have made some changes to what I am doing and I hope I can get things going so I can work for myself and have more time with my daughter.  She is growing up to so fast I want to get as much time with her as I can before college comes around

Well that is a quick catch up of some of the things that have been going on with me since I have been absent from writing.  I hope I can keep you interested and get things going on the blog regularly again.  Thanks for reading.

Happy Days

So I have been busy the last two days and I hope it pays off.  I really want to get stuff together.  I am planning to file my divorce papers Wednesday which is sad.  I have been trying for a year with no change so I feel it is time to move on.  I have been working on the house trying to make it feel a little more like my home instead of my parents home.  We are making progress slowly but surely.  I feel things are turning around slowly in my favor.  It feels good for a change.

Work not so much.  I am not the favorite at work by any means so things can get a little sticky now and then.  It is a love, hate relationship.  I love my paycheck coming in but hate that I have to go to work.  I am trying to find something I can do that I really enjoy.  Maybe starting my own business.  I would much rather be the boss than keep working some place where I do not feel respected. 

I am just going to Keep Swimming.  It has to go up from here.  I do feel sad on some things but happy that I am strong enough to keep going.  I am thankful to the people who continue to support me even when I don't want to support myself.  It has been a long year and it looks like I am finally heading in somewhat the right direction.  I only hope the next year goes even better.

Well it is late and I have  plans in the morning.  Have a great day.

Another Day of Tested Patience

So today really worked my nerves and sadly I made a comment this time.  I am not proud of it but 3 people were verbally ganging up on me and it was all I could take.  I didn't yell or anything like that but I did let them know that the way they were talking to me was less than appreciated.  They really didn't talk to me the rest of the day.  Which honestly was fine by me at that point.  I have to work again tomorrow and I am not really looking forward to it.

I did get to talk to a coworker that no longer works in our office and he made me feel better and just reminded me to keep positive and my faith and don't let the rest get to me.  I know that is what I am supposed to do so I am really trying.  I want to have a more positive experience at work so I am trying to keep positivity in my own day.  I will at some point not have to worry about others because I will be so comfortable with myself.

Totally off subject though, the survey money making is hard.  My inbox is overflowing and I can not seem to catch up at all.  I keep staying up so late to work on them I am over sleeping but still not getting enough sleep.  While I do not have a favorite yet, I do have some tips in case anyone out there is thinking about it.

1- Set up a separate email account just for surveys
2- Make sure that you have at least 3  hours a day if you sign up to a lot
3- Be prepared to see a lot of the same thing from different places
4- Don't expect to get rich right away

Another thing I found out about today in case you have not heard of it is Ibotta.  It is like Shop Kicks but they pay you cash.  You can get it from the Play Store for your phone.  I have already earned a couple dollars just by looking at the grocery items they have on there.  It seems pretty easy so if you have a smart phone and shop I say give it a try.

Also I am highly recommending that if you shop at Kmart then you need to make sure you are part of their program.  It earns you money to save on your next purchase.  Yesterday I got a new shirt and between the program and the gift card I had I got the shirt for $0.30.  It is totally worth it.  Plus if you are a member and you do a layaway by the end of next week you get it with out the maintenance fee.  That is a good thing as well.

I am going to end for tonight. Sorry it is all over the place tonight but I am really tired and typing things as I think of them.  Going to get ready for bed and try to get some sleep tonight.  Have a great day.

Eye Opening Days

Well I have been back at work for 4 days now and things are actually different now.  I see things a little different there.  I just don't even get caught in the drama right now, i mostly just shake my head and laugh.  The extra effort put in by some people just to make others miserable is beyond me.  It has been very uplifting for me to be able to withdrawal from the personal drama has been nice.  I am even using it with my husband. 

After not hearing a word from him for our anniversary  I was a little bummed but saw it coming.  Though my daughter text him and she never heard from him that day.  Then yesterday he text me after 6 saying he was picking her up and I told him to talk to her about it because she had already made plans which turned into a fight because he wants his way when he wants it and not a minute later.  Ultimately my daughter told him the same thing and he stopped texting her for the rest of the night.  I do not know why he could not compromise and let her do her activity and then get her but since she didn't want to go when he said he is not taking her now.  Although he complains he never gets to see her but also does not call her during the time he does not see her. It is very frustrating to deal with some time.

Now when he wants to argue though I just stop him by saying I am not fighting about it and he can work with me or I have nothing else to say about it.  That leads to him not talking to me for awhile usually.  I hate that my daughter has to be punished because he wants to pick a fight with me but at the same time I refuse to let him run our lives when he is the one that walked away.  even after that I have been letting get what he wants and trying to fix the marriage but he is the one that wants to keep fighting about everything.

I am not going to say that it is perfect today was a challenge.  There were things that were trying my patience but I made it through.  I just kept telling myself that it was not worth it.  There are far more important things I can worry about rather than the bad moods of other people.  Plus I find that the day goes faster when I am in a good mood.  It makes the customers happier and I get things done a lot easier because it is not such a chore at that point.

Well I need to get some sleep due to the fact I have only been sleeping about 5 hours a night for the last week.  Have a great day.